Reply To: Memories

About Forums Den of Writers Critiques Memories Reply To: Memories

#1052
Elle
Participant

This reads better and I like that ending much better. One thing I think it’s missing at least for me are smell, colours, touch, little details that makes a scene come alive and differentiate it from other stories. For example, the smells in the nursing home, or when you said the restaurant was shabby, how was it shabby are we talking mismatched furniture, wooden chairs with peeling yellow paint, what does Florence remember about Robert what little details did she cling to, the blue silk pocket square that she kept, crumbs of bread stuck in his moustache, etc…

I hope this helps.