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#1554
Philippa East
Participant

okay, might be waffling on a bit here, but it’s sparked a load of thoughts.

In general I like the opening couple of paragraphs. It paints a strong and immediate picture of character and place.

You set up the omniscient narrator with the phrase highlighted in bold below.
“When the lights went out across Europe, Lina Stephenson did not notice at all. Her ghosts were stirring too, but she did not know that either. Let her have this moment.
Hiking up a pine-dense valley in the Rila Mountains, she was thinking only of motion, and the smell of old snow. ”

If you remove that phrase it becomes straight third person:
“When the lights went out across Europe, Lina Stephenson did not notice at all. Hiking up a pine-dense valley in the Rila Mountains, she was thinking only of motion, and the smell of old snow.”