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#1691
Elle
Participant

I enjoy reading this, I get a Station Eleven vibe from it (that’s a good thing) in terms of setting the apocalyptic atmosphere and hinting that something’s coming however I think it might be a bit too much setting up in one go for my liking and I’m not overly fond of the omniscient narrator style (but that’s a personal preference of mine). I agree with the others when they said that it sounds quite distant in place and in and out of close and far narration is distracting.

One thing is by the end of only 1,500 words you have introduced quite a lot of people which can be somewhat confusing. I was wondering whether it might help the reader to introduce all the main characters in a more staggered way.

I hope this helps and based on that extract I would definitely keep reading.