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#1706
Sophie Jonas-Hill
Participant

I really want to read more of this and work out what’s going on, but I feel this opener is on the way to being something amazing, but isn’t quite there yet. I loved the writing style when you really pushed it and were bold, when you were writing almost in a voice of god style, and could have read a lot more of it. For me, it then focuses in a bit too quickly and in too many directions for a first chapter, so I got a bit confused by the scene changes. Don’t get me wrong, I loved everything I read and really wanted to find out what will happen, and what has happened, to them all, but I could have done with a little less pace.
The impression I got from this is a sense of even more serious levels of migration and hostility to this, combined with a technical break down, terroism and possibly a pandemic as well – and yes, love the genre, can’t get enough of the end of the world – so please take all my comments as basically a massive thumbs up – I want to read more of your narrator style because I think it’s brilliant!