Ooo, thanks for sharing! I like the sound of these supernatural elements, and the interplay between your three main characters. I was just thinking today about then book “Ice” by Anna Kavan. I think yours has similarities to this too.
Okay, I’ve dived straight in and edited, as I see fit. Feel free to disagree with any or all of my suggestions. I am not holding back, so appreciate some of my thoughts won’t hit the mark.
Dear xxxxx xxxxxx,
I’m pleased to submit the opening 50 pages of my novel AnGal, a 100k word supernatural thriller. Set in the Philippines, the book centres on the manananggal, a mythical, winged half-woman that feeds on its victim’s life force.
I’m writing to you specifically because of the close match between my novel and your preferences [obviously you can specify these for each agent]. More generally, it’s a novel that I believe would lie close to Susan Hill’s Dolly [can you include 1-2 other contemporary comp titles?]
When Galina, a young Filipina, is possessed by a manananggal [this sounds exciting! Could you elaborate this plot point a little more?], she flees her village for the squalid, neon-lit streets of Manila. There she meets James, an English aid worker, and Rozee, the girl he rescued from the aftermath of a typhoon years before. Both are inexorably drawn to Galina, but as attraction turns to obsession, all three find themselves in irreversible danger.
I started writing this novel when I was living in the Philippines, where I encountered the fears of the local people for this malign spirit. Now based in X, I’m happily retired and can dedicate my time to writing. As well as fiction, I also write poetry, formal and free format. I am a member of an active online writing group and attend the York Festival of Writing [is that right?!] I’m also currently working through a proofreading course.
Thank you for your consideration. I hope you enjoy what you read and look forward to hearing from you.