Here’s my revised letter:
Dear xxxxx xxxx,
I’m pleased to submit the opening 10k words of my novel, AnGal, a 137,500 word supernatural / slipstream thriller. Set in the Philippines, its focus is the manananggal, a mythical, winged half-woman that grows within the one possessed.
I’m writing to you specifically because of the match between your preferences and my novel. I believe AnGal would lie alongside Susan Hill’s Dolly and John Boyne’s This House is Haunted, while its unsettling originality would put it in close proximity to Anna Kavan’s Ice.
Following an attempted rape, Galina, a young Filipina possessed by a manananggal, flees her remote village for the squalid, neon-lit streets of Manila. There she meets James, an English aid worker, and Rozee, the girl he rescued from the aftermath of a typhoon years before. Both are inexorably drawn to Galina, but as attraction turns to obsession, all three find themselves in irreversible danger.
I started writing this novel in the Philippines, where I encountered first-hand the fears of the local people for this malign spirit. I also had experiences there that defy explanation. Now based in England, I’m happily retired, and able to devote time to writing. I also write poetry, formal and free format, and have contributed to online writing groups. I’m currently planning my second novel and working through a proofreading course.
Thank you for your consideration. I hope you enjoy what you read and look forward to hearing from you.
It may still lack zing, but I think – thanks to your help – it reads better(?)