Reply To: Monthly comp – October 2018

About Forums Den of Writers Monthly Competition Monthly comp – October 2018 Reply To: Monthly comp – October 2018

#2704
Seagreen
Participant

Thank you all for taking the time to post an entry, especially Sandra, who kicked things off (phew!), but later withdrew by reason of unavailability to set the next comp should she win.

Anyway, as most of you know, I’m rubbish at any kind of feedback so I’ll keep this short.

Sandra – strong voice. And some perfect turns of phrase – ‘Like a crystal glass in the roughest sailor’s dive’ and ‘Her face did a somersault from scorn to pity and back again.’ Loved it!

Jonathan – I won’t pretend to fully understand this, but you have an easy way with words which I envy. Strong scene-setting – from the world’s abandoned places to the October Ukranian winds whipping his coat. Not a superfluous word anywhere.

Ath – another strong voice (as ever!) and a character we can all relate to. I enjoyed listening to it and hope it made you smile as you wrote it 😊

J – you put me in mind of The Book Thief. You’ve packed a lot into it with some excellent word choices, and my favourite phrase has to be ‘a glimpse…..to be a rag in a tree’

John – voice again. Who hasn’t met this character? Or can’t recall a conversation much like this one? Simple and effective.

Daeds – you surprised me with this. (Don’t ask me why). It had a kind of Wodehouse feel I liked. As for the lunch-box, when I plucked the 60’s TV theme out of my head, it came with a Sting-Ray/Fireball XL5 image, so Captain Scarlet was a good choice. And a Han Bag?

Xander – Welcome back! And with yet another strong voice. What I like most is the ease with which the reader is sucked into the scene and the casual way you leave us wondering what happens next.

You are all honourable mentions, but my winner this month, for leaving me with an odd, unsettled feeling, is Jonathan.