Reply To: Opening of new WIP- 1289 words

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#4812
JaneShuff
Participant

It didn’t seem slow to me at all @bellam. Lots of great stuff. An unhappy heroine with a tricky relationship with her annoying mother who clearly has secrets in her past. And now she’s going to have to go on some ghastly coach trip with her. I’d read on. Particularly as she’s got an old and much loved cat. Only one comment – maybe the back story about Bert felt a bit shoe-horned in. I’d be happy for Mum to reveal she’d asked him before Bethany, without knowing exactly who he was. But it’s a very minor point.