Reply To: Mobile phones

About Forums Den of Writers The Writers’ Lifeboat Mobile phones Reply To: Mobile phones

#5831
Philippa East
Participant

Damn don’t you just hate when reality gets in the way of a good turn of phrase! I do love the sound of that last line.

I wonder if you could play with the idea of someone repeatedly redialling so that the ringing sound becomes continuous even if each call begins and ends. Perhaps you could tweak the last line slightly to read something like “… that kept ringing and kept ringing” to give more of a sense that someone kept on ringing back non-stop.

Failing all that, I’d just think “screw it” and go with your last line and trust that readers appreciate a bit of poetic license in our beautiful storytelling!