Reply To: The Disappearance of Rebecca Faulks (short Story – 2,800 words)

About Forums Den of Writers Critiques The Disappearance of Rebecca Faulks (short Story – 2,800 words) Reply To: The Disappearance of Rebecca Faulks (short Story – 2,800 words)

#737
Elle
Participant

Thank you Jonathan and Deadalus for your feedback and suggestions, they have been massively useful.

Regarding the comment about the cereal and the sugar. The reason it’s in there is to show her degradation when later she has cereal again and that time they taste like cardboard

I tried to make the hospital and the fact that the last paragraph is her dreaming for the first time after she wakes up in hospital. It was more confusion before. I’m just worried if I make it too clear it would be too on the nose, if that makes sense.

You certainly all gave me some great suggestions and I now have some ideas on how to improve on this piece.