Reply To: A Blank Piece of Paper (short Story – critique)

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#913
Philippa East
Participant

FWIW, I actually think the phonemail is a really key pivot point! I would recommend keeping this in, and building the structure of the piece as a whole around it, as Kate highlights.
Remember, even though this story is built of a series of vignettes, it still needs to have a narrative arc. The phone call gives you a useful turning point, and the references to experiences with her father could work in the same way. Think of these a mini ‘revelations’ which take the narrative in new directions.