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#923
Tony Lyttle
Participant

I thought this very well written, John; nicely constructed, with the flashback. I kept wanting to read on. The only suggestion I would make is in the ending. “He was my first” is good because you immediately think she means her first time with a man, but quickly we see that’s not what she meant – which gives away the ending too soon. Much as I like the “He was my first” I would drop that line so that the first we know that there were others comes right at the end.

Write on, John.