Reply To: Memories

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#936
Elle
Participant

Hi John, I enjoyed the story and the twist.I agree it is well written and I enjoyed the little touches of dark humour. Personally I would have left the end at “he was my first.” and add something about memories to keep the ambiguity of the statement.

Also I wanted to get a bit more in Florence’s motivations or maybe not motivation but some kind of foreshadowing. Why was he her first? What prompted her to stab him? Was it premeditated or impulsive?

The opening of the 2nd paragraph is a bit telling and I was wondering whether you could show a bit more and also the word is “au revoir” not “au revoire” (I knew that French mother tongue will come in handy some day!)

Weird question but was that for the Fictive Dream September slam?

I hope this helps!