Athelstone

Sorting out my formatting before I post would be another nice thing…

 I spotted my MC thinking about something I knew she was going to know, but she didn’t actually know yet

That’s the kind of thing I try to see in my own writing though often it’s only after leaving the piece as long as possible that I notice what I’ve done.

My main reason for leaving drafts a long time – apart from life getting in the way – is…

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Oh yes, I remember that gent, and his habit of taking other people’s writing and, unasked for, eviscerating the piece, stripping it of every possible nuance and subtlety to leave a lifeless skeleton. You mean he once actually admitted he was wrong?

I’ve just edited out the opposite problem (sort of) to the one you mention in your first para. I…[Read more]

I’m emotionally excited over this!! haha. We’ll see what I get up to 😊✨

No worries, Ath. I absolutely agree with you. For me, rules are interesting in a meta way for people’s reactions to them, either for or against. I like to think I’m relaxed but my bonnet bees show my uptightness 🙂 The truth is, I’m fascinated by ‘rules’ and the improvements or failures that can happen when they’re ‘broken’ – though most of the…[Read more]

Confusingly, I have asked for two metaphors (mixed) while giving an example using a proverb 😂

So, let’s try this again:

Take two well-known sayings.
Mix well.
Write the story inspired by the result.

400 words or less.

I’ve learned a new word: ambitransitive. Thanks, Ath. It’s a helpful one.

Like you I think probably no rules are broken. I have a small bee in my bonnet about contemporary UK English abandoning commas and that may be why I thought a comma would help.

Your list, Ath –  avoidance of ambiguity; awareness of how things sound; comprehensibility; and…[Read more]

Hmm, crossed with everything after Libby’s post. Hence my repetition of the point about the transitivity (Is that a word? Sod it, it ought to be…) of those speech tags.

I think part of the problem here is that the author is concentrating very hard on the laudable aim of putting as much as possible – that he is comforting her, that he is speaking with his mouth close to her hair – into as few words as possible. Which can be very effective and satisfying when it works, but unfortunately this doesn’t.

It’s also a…[Read more]

I can’t offer any grammatical analysis, but it does certainly sound wrong. Almost creepily so. I did have to have a giggle at Libby’s analysis of the hair as ‘a nasty piece of work’.

Here are my thoughts but I’m very willing to be told I’m wrong.

The sentence would read better with a more appropriate verb and a comma:

‘Don’t worry,’ Jacob soothed, against her hair.

I agree Ath with both your points — I’d prefer ‘said’ for the speech tag, but using a transitive verb isn’t a problem. Aren’t a lot of speech tags trans…[Read more]

Well done Sea. Yours put me in mind of the This might hurt book/TV series, very important pressure. And thanks Knicks for giving me the opportunity to play with plot possibilities.

Aw, thanks @knickylaurelle! I did wonder if the medical terms and general set-up might be a bit too off-putting, but obviously not! 😂 Unexpectedly, I had a few moments of nostalgia writing this. There are elements of it I still miss.

Thanks to Ath for giving me the idea in the first place, thanks to Sandra for a bit more Luke, and thanks to my…[Read more]

Each of these had me quite tense – from the loop of endless phone calls to unnerving gun point to the high pressure of never-ending tasks you have to micromanage – and each one left me wondering why I did this. I should have asked for peaceful entries to assuage my own anxieties 😅😅, but that might not have been as riveting, lol.

They are all…[Read more]

Heartbreaking this, Ath. Good memories but so much sadness in that final line.

Attempt to alleviate some plot pressure!

Monday they returned from Suffolk, Luke taking over the driving just before they reached the A14, having said to Fran, ‘You do the wriggly village bits. Easier on my arm if I  drive the motorways.’

‘No worries.’ A lie. Except for easing the small concern Luke didn’t over-do it with his still-healing…[Read more]

Woopity woop! 🥳🥳 Thanks, Ath! This was a real challenge for me as evidenced by my unusually late submission. I thought I wasn’t going to make it, but I was working on it the whole time, trying to get the voice right, and make sure my own meaning was clear.

Love your work as always, ladies. Seagreen, your piece was absolutely beautiful; Sandra’s…[Read more]

Thank you Ath, for comp and comments, and very well done Knicks. Seagreen (who gave me lovely images), and Kate., whose teddy could well be a friend of mine,