KazG

Not yet… although I think I started Francis Plug: How to Be a Public Author.

I like the sound of them as a publisher, if you’re going for the literary / experimental end of the spectrum.

Ha, Kaz! Have you snuck into my house and been reading over my shoulder? That’s pretty much where I’d got to – thanks in no small part to this thread. I was avoiding the scene and the complicated POV didn’t help. However I think, by making it somehow trigger a flashback to the earlier scene where she is beaten up by her husband and making her feel…[Read more]

Jane, you are welcome to read it. I’m in the throes of revising it after laying it aside for three years, so a fresh perspective will be useful.

And Philippa, I’m just trying to collect my thoughts to DM you…

I’d love to read the whole thing, Richard, if you’re ever looking for someone else to look at it.

Oops. Sorry!

Aargh, spoiler!

By the way, you might like to know that Rosalind doesn’t lose the baby. She’s only a month or two into her pregnancy.

I had to read this a few times, Richard, to get beyond the awfulness of it. You were right to post it with a warning.
It’s a very strong piece of writing and – this is meant as a compliment – I’m glad I had a go at my own scene before reading it, because I would have found it difficult to write in my own voice afterwards! Yes, I see how you’ve…[Read more]

Okay, Jane, here is my violent passage. I’ve left in a bit on the front to put it in context. Two words in your ear:

1) Just to explain any weirdness, this is a ghost story.
2) In addition to the violence, contains sex and a little naughty language.

Okay, here we go.

Smiling down into his face, she began to pump her hips. Joey came to meet…[Read more]

It was so lovely to catch up with you @giselle 😊😊 Thank you for cheering me on. Hope the edits are going well xx

Well, clarifying the problem is always a good start! Yes, I can see better now what’s making it tricky. I guess the same principles still apply: focus on your onlooker’s reactions to what they are witnessing, rather that (just) the action itself. Maybe think about the onlooker experiencing the violence as a series of sounds, movements, colours,…[Read more]

Argent Strings

In his dreams the nylon twanged faster and faster, jumping like fleas, until –

Until he woke. The hipster fashion for tiny instruments had not run dry. Instead it had uncovered a sinister network of enthusiasts, meeting once a month in railway huts, disused kiosks. The world’s abandoned places. But why? That was his job, to fin…[Read more]

Hi,

I can really see this place, this off-season clifftop eatery, can hear the lonely squawk of gulls and the crush-thump of incoming waves. The atmosphere of near-total stillness in the cafe is well-depicted. And you’ve got some great lines in here, particularly around the descriptions:

“a fall of autumn leaves across forehead, eye lids, nose,…[Read more]

Sorry, a ghost of an idea. I might have a couple of questions for you about subsequent trauma causing people to relive earlier trauma.

I can imagine how difficult that must have been to write, Richard, and I would love to read it.

The close POV is definitely a solution. However in my trickiest scene the POV is neither victim nor perpetrator but a sort of onlooker who cannot act. However this discussion has been really useful because I have, at least, realised this is why it is…[Read more]

Two bits of advice ‘freed’ me up wrt location, because I usually start with somewhere I know then make adjustments as necessary. Reading a disclaimer along the lines of “geographical liberties have been taken” I much appreciated.
Also, Eimear McBride said when she wrote of Camden, she did it from a 5 year old memory of the place and never…[Read more]