Mad Iguana

Well, clarifying the problem is always a good start! Yes, I can see better now what’s making it tricky. I guess the same principles still apply: focus on your onlooker’s reactions to what they are witnessing, rather that (just) the action itself. Maybe think about the onlooker experiencing the violence as a series of sounds, movements, colours,…[Read more]

Shame Derby is a bit too far for me for a weekday evening 🙁

I agree that sex scenes like violent scenes that develop the characters or characterisation shouldn’t be shy away from. I think the main issues with those kind of scenes is when they turn into the mechanics of what goes where and who does what. The scenes I have read where it have really works were when the reader is in the head of the character,…[Read more]

Sorry, a ghost of an idea. I might have a couple of questions for you about subsequent trauma causing people to relive earlier trauma.

I can imagine how difficult that must have been to write, Richard, and I would love to read it.

The close POV is definitely a solution. However in my trickiest scene the POV is neither victim nor perpetrator but a sort of onlooker who cannot act. However this discussion has been really useful because I have, at least, realised this is why it is…[Read more]

BTW I think your book DOES sound very original! Setting, the manananggal etc…. My point was that it is best to ‘show’ this through your blurb and chapters, rather state this claim directly.

Hi Alan,

I really enjoyed “Ice” although it is a very strange book. Worth reading to the end though, if you can.

Yes, my understanding is that Anna Kavan struggled with various problems, including depression and addictions.

It’s probably a bit of an old and obscure novel to use as a comp title, but hope it will lead to other relevant books

It sounds like a really difficult issue, Janeshuff. However well done on you for listening to your reader feedback.

I think as others have suggested, a close psychic distance is your answer. The character’s subjective thoughts, feelings, and reactions can never be gratuitous. These will also advance your plot, by contributing to your character’s…[Read more]

Hi @philippaeast, I’m half-way through ‘Ice’ and yes, there are some similarities in how hallucinatory passages flow in and out of the reality.
What did you think of it?
I’m thinking it’s the result of a troubled mind. And the style – sentence fragments, arbitrary punctuation, vagueness – isn’t for me, tbh. Interesting that in my kindle version…[Read more]

Thanks guys. That’s really helpful.

I’m leaning more towards going with a fictional place, although based on a real location to help me be consistent with geographical details. For me, I think it’s becoming clear that there is a particular kind of place I envisage as the setting for this particular story.

Trying to shoehorn my story into a…[Read more]

I had a problem like this in my last effort, and it cost me more sweat than anything else in that story. It was all the harder because it was a husband beating up his wife. I really didn’t want to go there and tried everything to skate round it, but the plot demanded that I meet it head-on. In the end I did almost exactly what Jonathan suggests: I…[Read more]

Some great ideas in there, thanks Jonathan

Jonathan, I don’t want to write more detail of exactly where and how many times they hit her and how much it hurts (or doesn’t) mainly because I don’t think it advances the scene and would therefore be gratuitous. I’ve tried, now, to write enough for the reader to understand that it was horrifying, callous and caused life-threatening damage (which…[Read more]

Thriller/Psychological thriller, Anna. If you have any suggestions of books where you think the violence is done well, I’d be interested!

I think you’ve just answered your own question. 😀 Good luck with developing it.

Kate, I think I am may have let my decision to keep the violence short stop the scene from developing in other ways so I’ve been working on that but I can see, nevertheless, that the violence has been threatened for a long time and I’ve ramped up the tension and fear leading up to it and maybe that is why it seems a let down.

I’m with you and Sandra on not going graphic. Ramping up the PD and inferring what’s going on rather than full on graphic is definitely my preferred route. BUT, don’t ignore feedback either. What percentage of your Beta readers had this reaction? Could you ask the ones who didn’t mention this how they felt. It may be you’re being too short and…[Read more]