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John S Alty replied to the topic Memories in the forum Critiques 7 years, 8 months ago
Thanks Tony, good points, noted.
Thanks, Elle. I guess my spell checker doesn’t speak French! Good points. I think I have a tendency to over-explain or I would have ended it at “He was my first”. Need to trust the reader more. The telly paragraph is a bit of a cop out – I’ll need to rewrite it.I can’t remember what the original prompt was, but I…[Read more]
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Fiona posted an update 7 years, 8 months ago
Huge thanks for the votes guys! This mob power is awesome. Let me know when I can return a favour.
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Debi Alper replied to the topic A Brief History of York Festivals in the forum Blogs 7 years, 8 months ago
@bellam – it was indeed recorded. Please excuse me for shouting, everyone, but MANDY WAS BLOODY BRILLIANT!
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Debi Alper replied to the topic Friday night live in the forum Podium 7 years, 8 months ago
I would definitely be doing cartwheels if it wouldn’t land me in a neck brace. So proud of Hel for her win, Mandy for her keynote, Philippa for her shortlisting and everyone who has made such massive strides forward.
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Daedalus replied to the topic Den monthly competition September 2018 in the forum Competitions, Open calls and Writing Opportunities 7 years, 8 months ago
You’re welcome, Bren. Lovely to see so many familiar names, indeed
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Bren replied to the topic Den monthly competition September 2018 in the forum Competitions, Open calls and Writing Opportunities 7 years, 8 months ago
Thank you Daed, I will give this a lot of thought. And hope My muse can turn a few words. Great to see familiar faces and names on here.
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Elle replied to the topic The Disappearance of Rebecca Faulks (short Story – 2,800 words) in the forum Critiques 7 years, 8 months ago
Thanks Philippa for your feedback. I’m really happy that you found it credible especially bearing in mind your background.
I have corrected all of those typos and mistakes so thank you for that too.
Based on Raine’s and someone else’s feedback I have added the following paragraph:
She woke up filled with the resolve to go out, bathe in fresh…[Read more]
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Philippa East replied to the topic A Blank Piece of Paper (short Story – critique) in the forum Critiques 7 years, 8 months ago
Good luck for when you sub! Xx
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Elle replied to the topic A Blank Piece of Paper (short Story – critique) in the forum Critiques 7 years, 8 months ago
Oh I like that suggestion, thanks for that!
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Elle replied to the topic Memories in the forum Critiques 7 years, 8 months ago
Hi John, I enjoyed the story and the twist.I agree it is well written and I enjoyed the little touches of dark humour. Personally I would have left the end at “he was my first.” and add something about memories to keep the ambiguity of the statement.
Also I wanted to get a bit more in Florence’s motivations or maybe not motivation but some kind…[Read more]
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