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(This should be a blog, but could not work out how to create one so apologies.)

The Inner Critic, Encouragement and Perseverance

I have loved writing since childhood and now, early in my eighth decade, I have amassed a great amount of fiction and poetry. I have also enjoyed the challenges of academic writing. The path has been cyclical with periods of intense activity and fallow times, times when I believed useful grist to the mill was still going on beneath the surface.

However, last year the old inner critique raised serious doubts that I would ever write anything worthwhile again; that my time as a writer was at an end. The quiet period had gone on for longer than usual and I seemed to have lost both urge and inspiration. It felt as though they would never return. Then, as the new decade approached, I decided that it was a good time for personal new beginnings in many parts of life.

January arrived and with it a nasty virus which stopped me in my tracks for about a third of the month. I rose like a Phoenix from the ashes, even more determined about those new beginnings, especially as regards writing. First, I set about recovering fitness with the physical activities of gardening and walking which have always served to inspire me, the bonus being that I also became lighter in spirit and body. I had a massive de-clutter indoors and not only did charity benefit, but it cleared energies ready for the new creativity I yearned.

Finally I joined this community and being beside talented writers again is proving to be inspiring and encouraging.

I have received heartening encouragement from many sources over the years, including from professionals, but one source that I value greatly at this time is the inner, quiet and gentle voice that arose as I lay in my sick bed. The message was simple yet powerful – ‘Remember who you are.’ This could apply to all facets of personality of course, but importantly the words overrode that nagging inner critic.

Today, the scene is set for that new beginning as a writer and it will happen, I am certain, after an imminent relaxing holiday in Cyprus, which island has high significance in our family life and the return to which always inspires.

I am being even more realistic now about publication in view of my age and the discussion on Hilary’s recent blog. However, I will persevere and if none of my work ever reaches a wider audience, there remains the immense satisfaction that it has given pleasure to those who have read it and that the creative process has enriched my life.

I am thankful for this gift of writing.