Activity

That Conversation

‘Frank want’s the self-appraisals by Wednesday, remember.’

Colin’s words cut through my frantic attempts to pull the KPI figures together. No, I did not remember. I did not remember Wednesday figuring in any of the discussions.

‘But nobody has even started because we were told not to. The training doesn’t begin until Thursday.’

Colin grunts. ‘Well, you’d better drop what you’re doing and start.’

‘Colin, even if I did, which I can’t because this spreadsheet is needed for the Senior VP meeting in—’ I look at my watch, ‘—twenty minutes, I’ll never get forty-three assessments done, reviewed and signed off in one and a half days.’

Colin grunts again. ‘Well, you’ll have to tell Frank that.’

‘I’m telling you. Never mind dropping what I’m doing, I can’t drop anything. Have you forgotten that the project release is Wednesday night? Everybody is more than a hundred percent utilised. I mean, why do you think you’ve been signing all those overtime slips? We’re only doing the release on a bloody Wednesday because Colin insisted that the training for his precious self-appraisal system must start on Thursday.’

A grunt hat-trick. ‘Well, it’s no good telling me. Have that conversation with Frank.’

One eye still on my monitor and the spreadsheet, I open my laptop.

‘I can’t “have that conversation”, Colin, because Frank’s diary says that he’s on holiday until Friday. He can’t need them that urgently after all.’

‘He does.’

Colin brooks no argument. He has the implacable bland certainty of a man who doesn’t care as long as the boxes are ticked and the news passed up the chain is good.

‘His PA told me.’

‘Beryl told you? I’ll check with her later.’

Colin’s emotionless gaze settles on me for a moment. I can almost see the “told-Pete-box” being ticked in his head. He leaves. Just time to print a dozen copies of the spreadsheet and get them to the meeting. Steve rushes in.

‘Pete, Sheila’s got a bunch of VIP guests just rolled into reception. Can you nursemaid them for a couple of hours?’

‘Steve, nothing would bring me more joy than to serve coffee and biscuits to a bunch of rich people and lie about how good our software is, but I’m up to my eyes.’

Steve is looking desperate.

‘Please, Pete. I’m doing the minutes at the Senior VP meeting in—er—five minutes.’

‘Oh, bloody hell! OK Steve. There’s twelve spreadsheets for the meeting coming off this printer. Take them with you. Reception, you say?’

As I race down the corridor, towards reception, Norman from the finance team falls in step.

‘All set for your guys to help with the database upgrade tonight?’

‘No, Norman. I need more engineers myself.’

‘Colin agreed it.’

Then, it all resolves itself.  At first, it’s agony; but as Norman’s puzzled face recedes and the floor approaches, a deep calm settles over me. From my new position, looking up at him, I smile beatifically.

‘Have that conversation with him, Norman.’

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