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I decided not to go with the traditional kinds of prompts associated with April and simply picked four words at random that must be included in your comp entry about anything in any genre that inspires your creative preference in 450 words or less.
The four words are :- Portrait Ignite Butterfly & Granite
METAMORPHOSIS
Vulnerable, estranged from her family, unexpectedly out of work and living in poverty in Aberdeen, the Granite City, it was easy for her to understand now why she had been taken in by him. He was extremely charming and persuasive. She’d moved into his luxury apartment soon after their first chance meeting.
The first time he hit her then apologised profusely, blaming stag party drink, she forgave him, desperate to make the relationship work. The second time, she managed to come to her senses, recognising that he had been particularly subtle in his coercive control. She had, after all, studied Psychology at university and had been working in a hostel with victims until the funding had been cut. She should have known better.
‘What a fool I’ve been,’ Vanessa thought ruefully. ‘I’m definitely worth more than this.’
The next time he came home worse for wear, she waited until he was deep in a drunken stupor and silently packed a bag. She hesitated before opening the drawer in which he kept cash. She was not proud, but tried to justify her actions thinking of all he had put her through.
Walking through the grey, rainy streets in the early hours towards the train station, the guilt lingered, but she needed to escape to somewhere he could not easily find her. London seemed the best option. It should be simple to remain anonymous, find menial work and some basic accommodation until she could get her head and life together again.
As the train hurtled towards the capital, she sat back and took a deep breath, feeling safe at last. She delved into her bag for the card which showed the ‘portrait‘ of Psyche. Her friend had sent it to congratulate her on her degree. It had become her talisman. She loved that Psyche’s name meant both ‘a breath’ and ‘butterfly‘, whimsically feeling some sort of spiritual connection, as her own name also meant butterfly.
She fingered the card now, trusting that it would bring her luck eventually in finding a new position in the field of psychology. She had been wasting her talents and had almost wasted her life with that man.
Putting the card back into her bag, she felt another card and pulled it out. It was the one he had sent her after their first meeting. Florid words and yet seemingly so sincere, making her feel loved and important to someone again.
How wrong she had been. She decided that, at the first opportunity, she would safely ignite it; a ritual symbolising her new beginning: her own metamorphosis.
433 words
Untitled
‘Gobsmacked’ the inelegant word that came to mind when I read the letter. What else would you expect , being told your three year-old daughter’s poem had been awarded first prize ? A prize which earned her up to three sittings with well-renowned portrait artist Bernard Broom. Especially when I’d not an inkling she’d written any such.
‘What was it about?’
’A butterfly.’
’A butterfly?’
‘A blue butterfly’
‘Can you say it for me?’
‘Can’t remember it. Mrs Crimp wrote down what I said.’
At least I could be sure Polly Crimp had done an accurate job. ‘What did the butterfly do? Was it a pretty one? If we look in the butterfly book, could you show me which it was?’
‘Don’t know. And anyway, ‘It died.’
‘Oh, poor butterfly. But they don’t live very long –‘
‘Because, when it was on the grey spotty worktop –‘
‘I think you mean granite.’
‘No, Granny’s is yellow, Butterfly was in the classroom and Nigel poobum made the sun shine on it through the magnificent glass. And the butterfly’s wings went smoky, Then black. Mrs Crimp said “ignited” even though it was lunchtime. She was cross with Nigel. What’s a “portrait”?
(203 words)
Just to remind everyone there are only two days left until the end of the April competion and as there are only two entries so far, both equally as worthy of being chosen as the other, I may have to resort to flipping a coin or standing at midnight by candlelight and chanting one of those weird childhood choosing rhymes ….midnight by candlelight definitely has more appeal.
Jill – this story was woven with the muted grey overtones of something unpleasant being cast off. I enjoyed how you linked the idea of metamorphosis with the prompt word butterfly as well as showing the protagonist dealing with the stages of an abusive relationship and its outcome with quiet strength too. Perceptively written.
Sandra, I loved how the child’s voice in this piece progressed, seemingly outwardly disconnected, but gave all the relevant details of the butterfly incident. It contrasted sharply with the more ordered adult dialogue and painted a lovely image of a blue butterfly juxtaposed abruptly with the harsh act of ‘poobum’ Nigel’s horrid behaviour.
Both pieces are captivatingly written, both entirely different from each other and both worthy of being chosen winner. I’ll be honest it was really difficult to pick …but the task of creating Mays competition goes to Sandra. Thank you both for taking part and creating two first class entries.
Thank you , Terrie, both for the challenge and your comments on both my entry and Jill’s excellently crafted, sensitive story. I’ll aim to set something for MAY by the end of today.
Congratulations, Sandra. Loved your entry, which captured the mind and voice of that little girl so well. Look forward to your May competition challenge!
Thank you for the kind comment on my own entry.
Thank you, Terrie for setting this challenge which stretched creativity to meet the four word inclusion criteria.
Thank you, too, for your thoughtful comments on both entries.
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