Friends – Activity – Clebs

KazG started the topic Lost my group! in the forum Andrew Wille's DIY MA course 6 years, 5 months ago

Hi fellow DIY-ers! I seem to have lost my group – it’s not showing up in my groups at all anymore. The only way I can get here is to look at my notifications and activity and get in that way. Is anyone else having this problem?
Squidge replied to the topic Mid grade 1st chapter in the forum Critiques 6 years, 5 months ago

Hi Kate, it’s pitched about right, I think.

I wondered about the amount of description initially – and where it just touches on backstory/info dump when your MC says she’s never been there before. Can you rework something along the lines of ‘In all my sneaking around, I’d never managed to see inside, and I wasn’t disappointed on this, my first…[Read more]
KazG replied to the topic Class 3 Writing Exercise “I don’t remember” – Hilary in the forum Andrew Wille's DIY MA course 6 years, 5 months ago

Wow, this is so rich @hilary. So much there, so many hints and glimpses and twinges of pain and longing and sadness. There’s a sort of yearning behind of these lines that breaks my heart a bit. Such powerful fragments.
Athelstone replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

I spent a day in Seville. I recommend a) don’t drive; it’s considerably more insane than Paris and that’s bad enough b) wear a surgical mask or take oxygen; the air reminded me of London circa 1973 only much, much, worse c) we liked the Plaza de España and the Cathedral, but honestly there’s so much. We were almost persuaded to visit the site of…[Read more]
- JaneShuff replied 6 years, 5 months ago
  
  Thank Ath. Going to the cathedral and the palaces tomorrow and spent the day wandering around including seeing students doing Flamenco at Plaza Espana. Fabulous. It is all fabulous for folks like us who live in a little breton coastal backwater although you are right about the air. Did you see my post last week about failing to get enouh done in…[Read more]
JaneShuff replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

Ps posting this at the airport. Has anyone been to Seville? Any recommendations as to things to do?
JaneShuff replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

Just noticed that I forgot to take the numbers off my comments. They mean nothing. I got my OH to print the stories off with nothing to identify them and number them so I would judge them blind. Except for Ath who posted so late he missed the process.
Raine replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

Ooh congrats @libby on a very deserving perfectly formed story! 😊 And thank you @janeshuff for a challenge that got me away from editing/fretting! X
Seagreen replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

Congratulations, Libby! 🙂
And thanks, Jane, for kick-starting my writing year x
Athelstone replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

Great entry, Libby and a very well deserved win.
Jane – another great competition. Thanks.
JaneShuff replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

Thank you everyone. And sorry for the delay. We’re away for a few days from tomorrow and I had quite a few things that had to be done before we went.

A cracking bunch of entries. I hope you enjoyed writing these as much as I enjoyed reading them. As usual I was struck by the many different ways they all responded to the theme.

1) @johnalty. I…[Read more]
Raine replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

Nice one, @athelstone 🙂 I want this to be part of something bigger!
JaneShuff replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

Thank you all! I am looking forward to readying them. I am out most of today so results will be posted this evening.
KazG replied to the topic Class 3: Writing Exercise, Raine. in the forum Andrew Wille's DIY MA course 6 years, 5 months ago

Oh my lord @raine this is magnificent. Heartfelt and raw but with real beauty too (I don’t think you can help your writing being beautiful, frankly). That images of the monsters under the sea and the line about undoing her smile as if it had never been, the line about her joys being taken away – joy in his kindness, moments of softness. So vivid,…[Read more]
KazG replied to the topic Class 3 writing exercise "I don't remember", Sandra in the forum Andrew Wille's DIY MA course 6 years, 5 months ago

ooh, very interesting angle @sandradavies.I like using a secondary character to shed light on the story and this is a very vivid reveal – of both the son and father. The impression I got of the father was a sadistic bully who asserts power and enjoys it. The lines about the Duncans implies a family of note of some kind – or maybe notoriety? these…[Read more]
KazG replied to the topic Class 3: Writing Exercise, Bella in the forum Andrew Wille's DIY MA course 6 years, 5 months ago

So very interesting @bellam, especially as your explanations show just how much you have buried below the surface of the letters. Very well done, both of them.

I too got a sense of a unreliable narrator in the first letter – do we believe her? I doubted her – and in the second one you have nailed the young, inexperienced voice and that line…[Read more]
KazG replied to the topic Class 3 Writing Exercise "I Don't Remember" – KazG in the forum Andrew Wille's DIY MA course 6 years, 5 months ago

thank you all! It was a surprise for me how it took off.
Athelstone replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

‘You don’t have a future, not really,’ said Gregor. He shifted his bones on the stone floor making his chains rattle.

‘Ah,’ said the philosopher, at length, ‘you’re one of those Zenonians. A Stoic I suppose. You imagine that because we can never sufficiently divide the instant we call the present, then it must be an illusion, as is the future. A…[Read more]
Raine replied to the topic Monthly competition – January 2020 in the forum Monthly Competition 6 years, 5 months ago

Just reading through these, and much fun it is. 🙂 Thank-you all for brightening up my lunch break.
@johnalty – that sneaky wee twist made me laugh. 😀
@sandradavies – erk!! Love the ‘not fat – not quite – not yet’ line, instant image of the man!
@seagreen – wow, hard and powerful, and I am totally siding with her!
@libby – impressive world…[Read more]
Raine replied to the topic Class 3: Writing Exercise, Raine. in the forum Andrew Wille's DIY MA course 6 years, 5 months ago

Thanks @sandradavies and @bellam both. It’s interesting – as I was writing this, I was thinking that it didn’t really tell me anything about the ‘inner lives’ of either Abigail or John. But in hindsight, perhaps it does. More about John though than Abigail, I think?

And yes, I think she needed to get out fast, and I think she did. She felt quite…[Read more]
Raine replied to the topic Class 3 writing exercise "I don't remember", Sandra in the forum Andrew Wille's DIY MA course 6 years, 5 months ago

This does give me a good sense of the father though, I think. A shouty, philandering, ‘man’s man’. Working class. I get the impression he’s one of those people who puts others down a lot but always in the form of jokes so any hurt feelings can be laughed of with a ‘can’t you take a joke?’. Does that come close?
Load More

@clebs