KazG

Well done,J!
And well done to you too, Ath for setting the comp ☺️

Yay indeed – well done Janette! And well done for choosing from such a disparate selection, Athers.

The Softness Of Untouched Snow

‘I say, Lilian, there’s a fair covering out there. Fancy a walk – a slide?’
‘Silly old beggar.’ I shook my head and carried on knitting. ‘Out there, in that? Slipping and shivering – at our age?’
‘Shivering means you’re alive. Come on, old lass, it’s been a long time indoors. Lets make some footprints afore anyone…[Read more]

Just Another Night at the Theatre.

Suspenders. Check.
Stockings. Check.
Corset and lacy panties. Check.
Stilettos.Check.
Pearl necklace. Make up to die for. Check.
Lab coat. Check.
Rubber gloves. Check.
Rice, torch, water pistol, newspaper, confetti, party hat, rubber gloves. Check.
Sense of humour. Check.
Willingness to participate.…[Read more]

As per Neil Gaiman’s fifth rule of writing:

‘Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.’

Oh – and contractions? Bunkum! If you have a distinctly voiced character, they will ‘think’ and describe in contractions just as much as they use them in dialogue. I’d have no luck with this editor cos I often write voice with contractions…makes it more real to me as the writer, and immerses the reader in the story, in my experience.

Is it worth having a look at how you’ve used ‘I’, Doug? If you’re using it frequently, then yes, definitely worth looking up psychic distance. There’s a big difference between ‘I sit at the table near the window. Outside, I see a man fighting to keep his brolly up in the wind and rain’, and ‘I sit at the table near the window and watch the man…[Read more]

Having written an entire novel in colloquial first person a la Catcher in the Rye, having made a conscious effort to break through my inhibitions about departing from Oxford (or Queen’s, or formal – call it what you will) English to do so, and having found the process liberating and rather fun, I’ll give a heartfelt ‘Hear, hear!’ to that. Okay,…[Read more]

Well bugger me. Apparently, if you just copy and paste a URL into here, without bothering with that ‘link’ button, it links automatically. You live and learn.

It occurs to me that one reason for over-use of ‘I’, or any other pronoun come to that, is filtering. This is another cause of the ‘frustrating distance’ Libby mentions, and Emma Darwin (Who else?) explains it far better than I could.

My immediate and visceral reaction to both criticisms was ‘Bollocks!’ If writing in first person, what other pronoun is there for you to use? How are you going to avoid the pronoun? If writing in third person, does the same criticism apply to ‘he, ‘she’ or ‘they?’ I suspect the real problem is not with the pronoun itself but with the style. As for…[Read more]

Having heard of someone else’s concern about the danger of overusing ‘I’ I am more sensitive, and have seen writing where it becomes a pain, but it’s hard to cut beyond a certain point. As for contractions – sometimes NOT to use them adds an unnatural stiltedness; like Jane says, their use needs tailoring to what’s being written.

RETRIBUTION 373 words (not including explanation)

‘Sire, if I may plead caution…’ James’s face was hidden from me as he stared out of the window across the city, and I began to wonder if, indeed, he had heard my quietly spoken words. But then he turned, and I saw in his eyes the haunted look I knew so well and had come to dread.
‘You may plead…[Read more]

Interesting. I would have said it is perfectly acceptable to use contractions such as I’m, He’d, don’t etc in narrative writing. In fact I think it’s fine to use anything you want provided it doesn’t obscure the meaning. It’s all down to what the voice and style require.