Den of Writers | Sophie Jonas-Hill | Activity https://www.denofwriters.com/members/tenacityflux/activity/ Activity feed for Sophie Jonas-Hill. Wed, 15 Apr 2026 10:19:15 +0000 https://buddypress.org/?v= en-GB 30 hourly 2 593c4153919a50b247d2e7d90e661233 Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic Chapter three - A spider's path in the forum Critiques https://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/chapter-three-a-spiders-path/#post-2135 Sat, 06 Oct 2018 19:48:24 +0000 Thank you, really helpful stuff – especially the double tingle spot – it’s amazing how much you can read things and not see them!
This brings the two characters together for the first time, and it is quite still, I agree, because she’s trying to hold a status quo, and he’s putting on a front, so they’re both in a state of tension in a way, which…[Read more]

]]> 0 fb8dc04a0bd94c9c8d949a56945c9e72 Sophie Jonas-Hill started the topic Chapter three - A spider's path in the forum Critiques https://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/chapter-three-a-spiders-path/ Fri, 05 Oct 2018 21:40:02 +0000 This is when the two characters from the start of the book, meet.

How does this grab you?

One

2012

The late afternoon sea is calm, the tide low, and the shingle under the pier salt stinking and clicking with water. The sky is the same shade of grey as the sea, so that the pier seems to stretch not towards the water but into a soft, ashen void,…[Read more]

]]> 0 5cc865318115de509c2b867b3821205c Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic First chapter - Spider's path in the forum Critiques https://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/first-chapter-spiders-path/#post-1760 Mon, 24 Sep 2018 20:37:55 +0000 Thank you for commenting, feel positive and have a good sense of where to go with this – thank you!

]]> 0 5e2763eac092137dc9d4a2f715e15a53 Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic First chapter - Spider's path in the forum Critiques https://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/first-chapter-spiders-path/#post-1726 Sun, 23 Sep 2018 20:09:22 +0000 Thank you all for reading an commenting, it’s very much appreciated. I understand what everyone is saying about the start, it’s all good points – It was sort of a prologue (the part in the woods) but everyone hates them, but maybe just switching the two parts round and making them chapter one and two?
To answer a few specific points, the book…[Read more]

]]> 0 eaf1a571af26ac5a73f9e1960e676178 Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic Wip beginning... in the forum Critiques https://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/wip-beginning/#post-1706 Sun, 23 Sep 2018 11:35:49 +0000 I really want to read more of this and work out what’s going on, but I feel this opener is on the way to being something amazing, but isn’t quite there yet. I loved the writing style when you really pushed it and were bold, when you were writing almost in a voice of god style, and could have read a lot more of it. For me, it then focuses in a bit…[Read more]

]]> 0 2f278db63f53e612c55d5389df1edcae Sophie Jonas-Hill started the topic First chapter - Spider's path in the forum Critiques https://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/first-chapter-spiders-path/ Sun, 23 Sep 2018 11:20:10 +0000 Hi – I thought people might be interested to have a crack at the first chapter – would you want to read more?

CHAPTER ONE

Moments ago he was on the road, with its solitary pools of street-light and the hush-hush sound of cars. He only turned off the path because he was sure that was the way though, and because the map made it seem easy, but now…[Read more]

]]> 0 93ae5483b3cc0643b03c3eb3bd79218e Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic Chapter seven - a spider's path in the forum Critiques https://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/chapter-seven-a-spiders-path/#post-1422 Sun, 16 Sep 2018 20:38:23 +0000 Thank you Daedalus – I take your points, I have trimmed it down and I will look at hinting at the girl’s age,as it’s six chapters in, it’s not the start of a book so I hope it wouldn’t have to be handled in the same way, but thanks for reading as ever – and not sure what your observation says about me!

]]> 0 25f70600d3b4121ca1c5789a23b64674 Sophie Jonas-Hill posted a new activity comment https://www.denofwriters.com/activity/p/2883/#acomment-2979 Sun, 16 Sep 2018 20:36:03 +0000 Thanks both, I had a great weekend, cheers! Sxx

In reply to - Athelstone posted an update @tenacityflux Happy Birthday Sophie Jonas-Hill ]]> fad5d474bab828f098a3944d308505f5 Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic Chapter seven - a spider's path in the forum Critiques http://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/chapter-seven-a-spiders-path/#post-1100 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 09:55:01 +0000 Under clothes, what was I thinking? It’s why you need a fresh pair of eyes, wood for the trees!

Thank you 🙂

]]> 0 13f4b1cbb6eb3b2339045c0c33082b2c Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic Chapter seven - a spider's path in the forum Critiques http://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/chapter-seven-a-spiders-path/#post-1079 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 07:48:31 +0000 Maybe just the one!;)

]]> 0 59a44fc84e3a57815a0accbfe9ce88a3 Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic Chapter seven - a spider's path in the forum Critiques http://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/chapter-seven-a-spiders-path/#post-1075 Wed, 12 Sep 2018 07:40:23 +0000 Hi Squidge!

Good point about moving him into the house, I have added ‘Once inside the door’ to make that clear, and I’ve had a bit of a tweak with his speech, but he is also trying to sound more respectable than he is, because (not a huge spoiler!) he’s putting on an act to her, but I’ve added in a bit more ‘innits!’

Cheerz!

]]> 0 9709fc0c922304a561fa90f45e238ede Sophie Jonas-Hill started the topic Chapter seven - a spider's path in the forum Critiques http://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/chapter-seven-a-spiders-path/ Tue, 11 Sep 2018 21:45:46 +0000 Hello all!

This is something I am now working on again, after letting it sit for a year or so, just really after what impression of the MC this gives you all the usual observations and comments – and the spell check those non-dyslexics can give me!

2014

The guest house is down the side alley that runs up hill towards Market Street, standing…[Read more]

]]> 0 ceb535f362500bce443d4969ea4e714f Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic Receiving an email headed 'Offer of Representation'.... in the forum Podium http://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/receiving-an-email-headed-offer-of-representation/page/2/#post-1058 Tue, 11 Sep 2018 21:17:31 +0000 Heaven comes to she who waits – and of course works very hard and never gives up! Wonderful times, huge congratulations!

]]> 0 e243dcc2ae5b741d4b803614624f4c60 Sophie Jonas-Hill posted a new activity comment https://www.denofwriters.com/activity/p/1432/#acomment-2281 Mon, 10 Sep 2018 20:09:54 +0000 As my husband is an electrician, that made me smile!
I had the big agent sign me thing, which was amazing, but then he couldn’t get a publisher to take a chance on my book as it was set in America and I’m British, so dropped me. Then an Indie publisher, Urbane books, signed it and it was published last year ( Nemesister) and the sequel is out on…[Read more]

In reply to - Philippa East posted an update @tenacityflux Hello!! Long time, no see! xx ]]> 8ae7c317099f077502dca8620b26d7e8 Sophie Jonas-Hill posted a new activity comment https://www.denofwriters.com/activity/p/1432/#acomment-1726 Fri, 07 Sep 2018 22:54:35 +0000 Hello indeed! Nice to catch up, how’s the writing going?

In reply to - Philippa East posted an update @tenacityflux Hello!! Long time, no see! xx ]]> 3d0c13f78373392e54aace4db4bd5b75 Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic Festival of Writing news.... in the forum Podium https://www.denofwriters.com/forums/topic/festival-of-writing-news/page/2/#post-627 Thu, 06 Sep 2018 21:18:12 +0000 That’s brilliant news, go you! 🙂

]]> 0 e0c0bcfe7aa5b776d5ee99b64fbf602b Sophie Jonas-Hill became a registered member https://www.denofwriters.com/activity/p/1325/ Thu, 06 Sep 2018 20:04:13 +0000 0