Reply To: Red (short story – 2,600 words)

About Forums Den of Writers Critiques Red (short story – 2,600 words) Reply To: Red (short story – 2,600 words)


Very nice… There were a couple of points only that tripped me up in the reading:
‘Tasha and she nicked the lipstick’. Didn’t sound right. I wondered about ‘She’d nicked the lipstick when she was with Tasha’, but wasn’t sure how that’d affect your word count.
‘The salty scent of sweaty skin trapped in every pore’. I read this first as the sweaty skin being trapped – does it need a comma to clarify and separate?
Otherwise, some really lovely imagery and phrasing in this. I enjoyed it.