About › Forums › Den of Writers › Critiques › Red (short story – 2,600 words) › Reply To: Red (short story – 2,600 words)
October 26, 2018 at 8:28 am
#2589
Jonathan
Participant
For me, “Tasha and she” would flow better as “She and Tasha”. But apart from this I thought it was a very neat story. I particularly liked the moment where she and Jezza are in bed and then suddenly it switches to a physics metaphor. Also when she changes, it’s good to see it from her perspecive, with the beast being an outside entity at first.
One thing: larger and skewered lamb -> Do you mean “lager”?
- This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by Jonathan.