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October 26, 2018 at 8:28 am
#2589

Participant
For me, “Tasha and she” would flow better as “She and Tasha”. But apart from this I thought it was a very neat story. I particularly liked the moment where she and Jezza are in bed and then suddenly it switches to a physics metaphor. Also when she changes, it’s good to see it from her perspecive, with the beast being an outside entity at first.
One thing: larger and skewered lamb -> Do you mean “lager”?
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by
Jonathan.