spur of the moment Halloween flash yarn

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    This is an idea I got just now, and thought I’d dash off here. Usually I don’t care much for movies where Christmas collides with Halloween: holiday cheer and Halloween horror don’t mix, I believe. But this idea hit me nonethless.

    Santa Claus becomes:

    ***SANTA ZOMB***

    St. Nick shook himself back to consciousness. Sitting up in the snow, he rolled up his sleeve to examine the bite. Bloody, but not too bad. Still it throbbed with pain, and what was worse, a telltale yellow-green showed around the bite marks left by the zombie.

    Merciful heavens! he thought, frowning through his beard. He looked over to where the remains of that creature lay in a heap, battered inanimate by a log Santa had grabbed.

    How did a zombie ever get up to the North Pole? Maybe it was fleeing the normal world, where men sought to shoot it. Maybe it had an idea for liberating the Blob, which was dumped here by plane to freeze and cease to grow and swallow everything. Maybe it just wandered north, and kept on wandering.

    He studied the bite mark again, knowing there was nothing for it. The sickly yellow-green was spreading, he knew. His hair and beard would still match the color of snow and Christmas vanilla icing, but the rest of him would soon be a color, and an undead state, more suited to Halloween.

    What to do? he wondered, determined to keep his mind sharp even as his flesh soured.

    What to do?


    The following Halloween, Timmy and Mandy ran around their neighborhood, stopping at house after house, chirping “Trick or Treat!” and holding out empty pillowcases. By the end of the night their pillowcases would be full. Timmy was dressed as a pirate, Mandy as a mummy; her mother was an archeologist and had made a day-long project of wrapping her just right, in bandages she claimed to have stolen from the museum.

    They stopped on the sidewalk. “What’s that?” Mandy asked.

    “Dunno.” Timmy squinted. Someone big was lumbering toward them, hunched over, hauling a sack as big as a car. Mandy caught of whiff of carrion.

    The man stopped in front of them. He wore a Santa suit, but smelled of rot mixed with chocolate, and a little drool fell from his mouth when he talked. They could not quite see his face, dark as it was; but his voice floated out to them in a kind of merry gargle.

    “Well hello there! Ha, ha, ha-ggggg, Happy Halloween!”

    “But you’re Santa Claus,” Mandy said through a slit in her wrapped head. Another slit revealed her eyes. “You’re all about Christmas.”

    “Ah! Well, ha, ha-ggggg,” he sucked in a breath, “I’m afraid, my dear, that has sort of…changed.”

    “What?” “What?” Both pairs of young eyes sprang wide.

    The zombie Santa raised a hand. “Not to worry, not to worry! Christmas isn’t cancelled…Mrs. Claus and the elves…they carry on for me, never fear. Christmas carries on as always, at least for good little girls and boys…you have been good, haven’t you?” He bent closer to them, and Mandy could
    make out a hint of a squint on his dark face.

    “Oh, yes Santa!” “Yes!”

    He straightened up a nodded. “Glad to hear it. Fate, it seems, has given he a different holiday. My time now is Halloween, when all you scary little beasties are out and about. The good ones get sweet treats from my sack. I live on Halloween candy myself,” he added, “enchanted sweets, you understand, so that I don’t (heaven forbid) want to eat people! Here.” He unslung his sack, let it fall to the sidewalk, and held it open. Mandy and Timmy looked, then reached inside. Inside was a universe of chocolates, tangy candies, hard sweets. They scooped out handfuls until their pillowcases were full to bursting.

    “Ha, ha, ha! ah-ggggg,” Santa rasped. “I always like to see that.” He slung the sack over his back with seeming effortlessness, and waved. “Off to find other good children! Haaaappy Halloween!”

    “Happy Halloween, Santa!” Mandy waved back, although it sounded awfully strange.

    Timmy leaned over and whispered, “So what do we call him now?”

    “Ah!” Santa bellowed and turned around, having heard. “Santa Zomb, little boy! Santa Zomb.”

    Giving them a last wave, he continued in a merry waddle up the street, vanishing in the darkness.


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