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Fine writing. Compact and perfect!

Sorting out my formatting before I post would be another nice thing…

 I spotted my MC thinking about something I knew she was going to know, but she didn’t actually know yet

That’s the kind of thing I try to see in my own writing though often it’s only after leaving the piece as long as possible that I notice what I’ve done.

My main reason for leaving drafts a long time – apart from life getting in the way – is…

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Oh yes, I remember that gent, and his habit of taking other people’s writing and, unasked for, eviscerating the piece, stripping it of every possible nuance and subtlety to leave a lifeless skeleton. You mean he once actually admitted he was wrong?

I’ve just edited out the opposite problem (sort of) to the one you mention in your first para. I…[Read more]

The trouble is, it’s easy to get used to odd phrasing or vocabulary when I’ve produced it myself.

There’s definitely something in that. It’s a similar issue to writing something which doesn’t make sense on its own because you know all the back story that your audience is missing. You know what a turn of phrase means and it’s something of a sur…[Read more]

No worries, Ath. I absolutely agree with you. For me, rules are interesting in a meta way for people’s reactions to them, either for or against. I like to think I’m relaxed but my bonnet bees show my uptightness 🙂 The truth is, I’m fascinated by ‘rules’ and the improvements or failures that can happen when they’re ‘broken’ – though most of the…[Read more]

Re the bee in your bonnet. My comments about commas were not directed at you. Commas are wonderfully useful and under-used.

No, I don’t worry too much about rules. Most of the rules are inventions of  over-educated elites designed to reinforce the idea that how the aristocracy spoke and wrote was the correct way*. That’s how we end up with such nonsense as split-infinitives and pointless debates about whether there should be a comma prior to and in a list. Seeing as…[Read more]

Confusingly, I have asked for two metaphors (mixed) while giving an example using a proverb 😂

So, let’s try this again:

Take two well-known sayings.
Mix well.
Write the story inspired by the result.

400 words or less.

I’ve learned a new word: ambitransitive. Thanks, Ath. It’s a helpful one.

Like you I think probably no rules are broken. I have a small bee in my bonnet about contemporary UK English abandoning commas and that may be why I thought a comma would help.

Your list, Ath –  avoidance of ambiguity; awareness of how things sound; comprehensibility; and…[Read more]

Hmm, crossed with everything after Libby’s post. Hence my repetition of the point about the transitivity (Is that a word? Sod it, it ought to be…) of those speech tags.

I think part of the problem here is that the author is concentrating very hard on the laudable aim of putting as much as possible – that he is comforting her, that he is speaking with his mouth close to her hair – into as few words as possible. Which can be very effective and satisfying when it works, but unfortunately this doesn’t.

It’s also a…[Read more]

Crossed with your reply Kate.

Yes! It is creepy. I have been discussing it offline with another member of the circle. We thought that ‘against her hair’ was perhaps one of the worst possible adjectival phrases.

I did think of a comma and I agree that it helps. What still interests me is whether the construction actually breaches any commonly agreed grammatical rules.

I take your point about common speech tags being transitive, although several are actually ambitransitive e.g.

It was necessary to answer. John answered.

I agree that ‘against’ is a poor…[Read more]

Here are my thoughts but I’m very willing to be told I’m wrong.

The sentence would read better with a more appropriate verb and a comma:

‘Don’t worry,’ Jacob soothed, against her hair.

I agree Ath with both your points — I’d prefer ‘said’ for the speech tag, but using a transitive verb isn’t a problem. Aren’t a lot of speech tags trans…[Read more]

Well done Sea. Yours put me in mind of the This might hurt book/TV series, very important pressure. And thanks Knicks for giving me the opportunity to play with plot possibilities.

Aw, thanks @knickylaurelle! I did wonder if the medical terms and general set-up might be a bit too off-putting, but obviously not! 😂 Unexpectedly, I had a few moments of nostalgia writing this. There are elements of it I still miss.

Thanks to Ath for giving me the idea in the first place, thanks to Sandra for a bit more Luke, and thanks to my…[Read more]