Clebs

You are not A BAD HUMAN BEING in spite of your assertion, and I have to point out that I am never wrong about these things. I note what you say, that I have no evidence other than a few sensational articles to confirm the smears, and most of all that he has been forgiven by Michael Rosen* He stays in my blog but with an amended text. I would love…[Read more]

I know I’m a bad human being, but still. I admit the Roald Dahl thing caused me a great deal of distress – not least because some of the articles circulating about him in the last few years contain a whole lot of horrible smears as well as the couple of horrible facts. But it’s difficult to come out and say ‘well yes, he did say a couple of…[Read more]

It wasn’t just white supremacy with H P Lovecraft. It was worse than that. About the only people he didn’t despise were those of what he defined as ‘Anglo-Saxon’ descent – whatever that means. He was a raging snob as well, both intellectual and social. His disgust at the ‘degenerate’ hillbillies in ‘The Dunwich Horror’ comes steaming off the page.…[Read more]

It was. I have a bit of a confession actually – in the first Cloud monthly competition I ever entered, I got more than one flash of inspiration and asked if multiple entries were permitted. The competition setter said OK, but after my third entry, suggested that maybe enough was enough 🙂

I think that’s a good call @libby. Don’t want to inhibit anyone’s creativity, but you’re right about the increased possibility of success

@libby I’m inclined to leave it up to the setter of the individual competition. I don’t see the harm in allowing one additional entry

Hi @katemachon, just got to this. I love the voice! I do agree about paring down the descriptions, making them part of the action as much as possible. And yes, you need to give us a reason to be on Ariadne’s side – give us her motivations, what she wants, what she fears.

I would also warn against overthinking the whole positioning of it,…[Read more]

It’s still possible to get in close, even using third person. It’s a bit of a knack, to get into your character’s head in this way – I often find myself rewriting complete paras when editing, because by the end of the book I’m so familiar with my character I can tell how they’re going to react, what they’re feeling or thinking. It’s a weird place…[Read more]

I should perhaps confess that my own novel is written in 1st person, and I have so far resisted the notion of changing it.

As for the Brownie Brigade Captain, if he were breathing down Ariadne’s neck or humming in her ear, or something that draws Ariadne’s attention to him, it would draw ours as a result, if that makes any sense.

I wonder if this is the reason more MG books are written in 3rd person? When you write in 1st person, you don’t think like the character, you are the character, and I think that additional explanations will ultimately slow the pace.

I tried to find a MG book written in first person for comparison and all I could think of was Running on the Roof…[Read more]

Hi Kate,

I don’t see a problem with the language either, to be honest, but (like Squidge) I did wonder about the amount of description at the start. It takes us out of the moment and lessens the impact of the question ‘How did I end up in this mess?’ if you see what I mean?

I have a few observations, obviously ignore anything that doesn’t work…[Read more]

Hi Kate, it’s pitched about right, I think.

I wondered about the amount of description initially – and where it just touches on backstory/info dump when your MC says she’s never been there before. Can you rework something along the lines of ‘In all my sneaking around, I’d never managed to see inside, and I wasn’t disappointed on this, my first…[Read more]

Ps posting this at the airport. Has anyone been to Seville? Any recommendations as to things to do?

Just noticed that I forgot to take the numbers off my comments. They mean nothing. I got my OH to print the stories off with nothing to identify them and number them so I would judge them blind. Except for Ath who posted so late he missed the process.

Ooh congrats @libby on a very deserving perfectly formed story! 😊 And thank you @janeshuff for a challenge that got me away from editing/fretting! X

Congratulations, Libby! 🙂
And thanks, Jane, for kick-starting my writing year x

Great entry, Libby and a very well deserved win.
Jane – another great competition. Thanks.

Thank you everyone. And sorry for the delay. We’re away for a few days from tomorrow and I had quite a few things that had to be done before we went.

A cracking bunch of entries. I hope you enjoyed writing these as much as I enjoyed reading them. As usual I was struck by the many different ways they all responded to the theme.

1) @johnalty. I…[Read more]