HELEN KAMPFNER

Yay indeed – well done Janette! And well done for choosing from such a disparate selection, Athers.

The Softness Of Untouched Snow

‘I say, Lilian, there’s a fair covering out there. Fancy a walk – a slide?’
‘Silly old beggar.’ I shook my head and carried on knitting. ‘Out there, in that? Slipping and shivering – at our age?’
‘Shivering means you’re alive. Come on, old lass, it’s been a long time indoors. Lets make some footprints afore anyone…[Read more]

Just Another Night at the Theatre.

Suspenders. Check.
Stockings. Check.
Corset and lacy panties. Check.
Stilettos.Check.
Pearl necklace. Make up to die for. Check.
Lab coat. Check.
Rubber gloves. Check.
Rice, torch, water pistol, newspaper, confetti, party hat, rubber gloves. Check.
Sense of humour. Check.
Willingness to participate.…[Read more]

Oh – and contractions? Bunkum! If you have a distinctly voiced character, they will ‘think’ and describe in contractions just as much as they use them in dialogue. I’d have no luck with this editor cos I often write voice with contractions…makes it more real to me as the writer, and immerses the reader in the story, in my experience.

Is it worth having a look at how you’ve used ‘I’, Doug? If you’re using it frequently, then yes, definitely worth looking up psychic distance. There’s a big difference between ‘I sit at the table near the window. Outside, I see a man fighting to keep his brolly up in the wind and rain’, and ‘I sit at the table near the window and watch the man…[Read more]

Having heard of someone else’s concern about the danger of overusing ‘I’ I am more sensitive, and have seen writing where it becomes a pain, but it’s hard to cut beyond a certain point. As for contractions – sometimes NOT to use them adds an unnatural stiltedness; like Jane says, their use needs tailoring to what’s being written.

RETRIBUTION 373 words (not including explanation)

‘Sire, if I may plead caution…’ James’s face was hidden from me as he stared out of the window across the city, and I began to wonder if, indeed, he had heard my quietly spoken words. But then he turned, and I saw in his eyes the haunted look I knew so well and had come to dread.
‘You may plead…[Read more]

Congratulations! Fab news!

“Then gently scan your brother man” (Robbie Burns)

‘Hipbones,’ she said. ‘They’ll disappear. Never to be seen again.’
That was early on. After forcing her to admit it. Persuading her it’d change nothing between us. When I’d arranged my physio appointments to coincide with her off-duty; to give us some pressure-free hours at home. When the…[Read more]