HELEN KAMPFNER

Oh – and contractions? Bunkum! If you have a distinctly voiced character, they will ‘think’ and describe in contractions just as much as they use them in dialogue. I’d have no luck with this editor cos I often write voice with contractions…makes it more real to me as the writer, and immerses the reader in the story, in my experience.

Is it worth having a look at how you’ve used ‘I’, Doug? If you’re using it frequently, then yes, definitely worth looking up psychic distance. There’s a big difference between ‘I sit at the table near the window. Outside, I see a man fighting to keep his brolly up in the wind and rain’, and ‘I sit at the table near the window and watch the man…[Read more]

Having heard of someone else’s concern about the danger of overusing ‘I’ I am more sensitive, and have seen writing where it becomes a pain, but it’s hard to cut beyond a certain point. As for contractions – sometimes NOT to use them adds an unnatural stiltedness; like Jane says, their use needs tailoring to what’s being written.

RETRIBUTION 373 words (not including explanation)

‘Sire, if I may plead caution…’ James’s face was hidden from me as he stared out of the window across the city, and I began to wonder if, indeed, he had heard my quietly spoken words. But then he turned, and I saw in his eyes the haunted look I knew so well and had come to dread.
‘You may plead…[Read more]

Congratulations! Fab news!

“Then gently scan your brother man” (Robbie Burns)

‘Hipbones,’ she said. ‘They’ll disappear. Never to be seen again.’
That was early on. After forcing her to admit it. Persuading her it’d change nothing between us. When I’d arranged my physio appointments to coincide with her off-duty; to give us some pressure-free hours at home. When the…[Read more]

Well done Ath – and thank you Libby – JUST the sort of challenge I best respond to (not sure what part the ebony pendant will play yet, but I’m glad of its inclusion). Much enjoyed your dialogue-only piece too Kate, so much action incorporated.

A small field but some fab entries and I’m very happy to be picked!

Occasional rough language

Prat’s Key Wood

Prat’s Key Wood was as old as the hills. No, really.

Well, seeing as the hills are billions of years old and forged in the countless aeons before organic life, that’s a stretch. But, I mean 1) it was ancient to the max and 2) it took Jacko and a team of ten, and a bulldozer, and chainsaws, just one…[Read more]