JT.

No problem @Libby, it was a flippant remark on my part, not intended to be taken seriously.

I think that’s a good call @libby. Don’t want to inhibit anyone’s creativity, but you’re right about the increased possibility of success

@libby I’m inclined to leave it up to the setter of the individual competition. I don’t see the harm in allowing one additional entry

I have two pieces nearly done but I don’t now which of them to enter. Maybe I’ll enter both, one under a pseudonym. Would that be cheating?

Hi @katemachon, just got to this. I love the voice! I do agree about paring down the descriptions, making them part of the action as much as possible. And yes, you need to give us a reason to be on Ariadne’s side – give us her motivations, what she wants, what she fears.

I would also warn against overthinking the whole positioning of it,…[Read more]

It’s still possible to get in close, even using third person. It’s a bit of a knack, to get into your character’s head in this way – I often find myself rewriting complete paras when editing, because by the end of the book I’m so familiar with my character I can tell how they’re going to react, what they’re feeling or thinking. It’s a weird place…[Read more]

I should perhaps confess that my own novel is written in 1st person, and I have so far resisted the notion of changing it.

As for the Brownie Brigade Captain, if he were breathing down Ariadne’s neck or humming in her ear, or something that draws Ariadne’s attention to him, it would draw ours as a result, if that makes any sense.

I wonder if this is the reason more MG books are written in 3rd person? When you write in 1st person, you don’t think like the character, you are the character, and I think that additional explanations will ultimately slow the pace.

I tried to find a MG book written in first person for comparison and all I could think of was Running on the Roof…[Read more]

Hi Kate,

I don’t see a problem with the language either, to be honest, but (like Squidge) I did wonder about the amount of description at the start. It takes us out of the moment and lessens the impact of the question ‘How did I end up in this mess?’ if you see what I mean?

I have a few observations, obviously ignore anything that doesn’t work…[Read more]

Hi Kate, it’s pitched about right, I think.

I wondered about the amount of description initially – and where it just touches on backstory/info dump when your MC says she’s never been there before. Can you rework something along the lines of ‘In all my sneaking around, I’d never managed to see inside, and I wasn’t disappointed on this, my first…[Read more]

Ooh congrats @libby on a very deserving perfectly formed story! 😊 And thank you @janeshuff for a challenge that got me away from editing/fretting! X

Congratulations, Libby! 🙂
And thanks, Jane, for kick-starting my writing year x

Well done Libby, excellent. Good job, Jane.

Great entry, Libby and a very well deserved win.
Jane – another great competition. Thanks.

Nice one, @athelstone 🙂 I want this to be part of something bigger!

‘You don’t have a future, not really,’ said Gregor. He shifted his bones on the stone floor making his chains rattle.

‘Ah,’ said the philosopher, at length, ‘you’re one of those Zenonians. A Stoic I suppose. You imagine that because we can never sufficiently divide the instant we call the present, then it must be an illusion, as is the future. A…[Read more]

Just reading through these, and much fun it is. 🙂 Thank-you all for brightening up my lunch break.
@johnalty – that sneaky wee twist made me laugh. 😀
@sandradavies – erk!! Love the ‘not fat – not quite – not yet’ line, instant image of the man!
@seagreen – wow, hard and powerful, and I am totally siding with her!
@libby – impressive world…[Read more]