Libby

Fab Elle. These are great.

OK, I’ll go first:

Sunday morning
A late breakfast, tea and toast, the paper folded at the cryptic crossword. 22 down, Kathmandu hippie hospital, 9 letters. Michael scratched his head with the pen. Just an average Sunday.
The doorbell rang, startling him. Nobody called on Sunday. Nobody called on any other day for that matter, not since he’d p…[Read more]

Thanks, Sandra.

Congratulations, elle!!

I was thinking a PM to the setter would be the easiest way, and not putting too much responsibility on a smallish group of people, but we can always try it for a while and see how it goes.

An alternating competitive-non competitive challenge is an option, but how would we decide who set the prompt for the non-competitive months?

That would be a nice touch, Sandra. He’s 18 and it’s his pride and joy.

I do that too, Sandra.

Thanks Sandra. The ‘mate’ was an attempt to show gender. Always tricky in first person. I’ve never been on a motorbike so your observations are most useful, as are your suggested tweaks. Much appreciated.

Thanks Bella. I’m relieved it works for you and thanks for all the tweaks. Definitely should be ‘they would come for me.’ Great catch.

Good thought, thanks Libby. I do like the idea of regular writing prompts, but at the moment we seem to be struggling to assemble enough entries for the competition, so whether we could maintain both I don’t know. What’s the general feeling towards non-competitive prompts as well?

Once I’d read through a couple of times, my overall impression was curiosity, which is generally a good thing, and I felt comfortable with the way the story is moving. When I read through the first time though, I was a bit confused as to what was going on. I don’t mean the bare facts, I mean things like whether Bethany wanted the phone call,…[Read more]

Once I’d read through a couple of times, my overall impression was curiosity, which is generally a good thing, and I felt comfortable with the way the story is moving. When I read through the first time though, I was a bit confused as to what was going on. I don’t mean the bare facts, I mean things like whether Bethany wanted the phone call,…[Read more]

Some lovely, quality writing, Bella.

I do agree with the others that I didn’t need quite so much information about the Bert back story. That did slow it down.

I liked this bit. ‘The conversation could go either way. She held her breath’ It really had me thinking uh-oh, what is this mother going to be like? Is she mentally unstable and going to…[Read more]

I thought this very well written and certainly not slow. However, as the opening to a novel, in view of what you tell us is going to happen, I feel it needs a hook. Perhaps a short chapter before this one, whetting the readers appetite.
Just my opinion, as always, so ignore at will.

PS I particularly enjoyed the telephone conversation betwenn the two of them.

It didn’t seem slow to me at all @bellam. Lots of great stuff. An unhappy heroine with a tricky relationship with her annoying mother who clearly has secrets in her past. And now she’s going to have to go on some ghastly coach trip with her. I’d read on. Particularly as she’s got an old and much loved cat. Only one comment – maybe the back story…[Read more]

Wonderful news. Congratulations. And very interesting about the previous rejections. Subjective, as you say.

There’s little I like more than seeing fabulous writers recognised. Great stuff Raine, enjoy it

Oh, Raine, that’s just fantastic. You deserve recognition.