Melanie Fraser

Here’s my entry, which contains mental health issues in a character under military duress. First line plus 200 words.

Bringing a gun into the house changes it.

Edward came home on leave. He was given embraces by Mother, pats on the shoulder by Father, and – foolishly, I now think – a salute by me, his brother. He laid his cap and service rev…[Read more]

‘Improbable life’ gets a thumbs up from me too.

This deadline will make me get my act together 🙂

I agree, keep the subtitle in. I especially like GippsGirl’s suggestion of ‘improbable’. More interesting than ‘extraordinary’ IMO, and for the reasons she states.

Definitely keep the subtitle in, IMO.

Congratulations, Sandra! A very worthy winner. I’m also on your list of readers when you finish. I was inspired, as well, by everyone else’s entries to try and up my game. An enjoyable competition. Thank you, Raine.

Hi Tony. I find unrelenting has negative connotations, as if his time in the limelight were a terrible burden that he didn’t wish for. Whereas A Lyttle goes a Long Way piques my interest, and the follow on line that mentions the ‘Ulster Storyteller’ wraps it up for me and would make me take a look inside to see if I fancied a read.
Hope that’s useful.
Kate

THE RIGHT ATTITUDE. Opening of a novel in progress. (383 words)

Lois stood in her kitchen in dolly-bird boots and a skirt above the knee. She was looking through the window just in time. The woman drew up at the curb and Ruth stepped out, pulling her satchel with her. The woman, another mother, waved and Lois waved back.

The point, though, was…[Read more]

Lovely news.

What lovely news. Congratulations both of you.

Congratulations, Jules. Sounds like a brilliant book – I’m off to buy it now. And thanks for all the tongue in cheek info. Made me laugh as well as being interesting.

This is brilliant. I’m glad I asked! What a fabulous source of info.

This had a wonderful energy and so many great observations. I loved the quirkiness of phrases like ‘lean forward talker’ and laptop caresser’. I’m going to try and keep this style in mind next time I have to describe something. It was my bedtime read, and most enjoyable. Thanks Gerry.

Yep! And turn sub-clauses into separate sentences then merge them again.

Sometimes professional book reviewers complain that creative writing graduates have a CW style. I haven’t spotted it myself and perhaps am being dense. If any Denizens can describe it I’d be grateful!

I do notice trends and fashions but they seem to apply to most trad published novels.

Re the workshop style, there must be a danger that if you’re…[Read more]

A well deserved win, Raine. The voice is wonderful and the whole piece captivating.

🙂 I think we’re all fairly cracked already, Philippa, to keep doing this writing thing to ourselves!

A great reminder that if you keep on battering your head against that wall, sometimes it cracks! Congratulations Philippa. I’ll go and enjoy the read.