Philippa East

BTW I think your book DOES sound very original! Setting, the manananggal etc…. My point was that it is best to ‘show’ this through your blurb and chapters, rather state this claim directly.

Hi Alan,

I really enjoyed “Ice” although it is a very strange book. Worth reading to the end though, if you can.

Yes, my understanding is that Anna Kavan struggled with various problems, including depression and addictions.

It’s probably a bit of an old and obscure novel to use as a comp title, but hope it will lead to other relevant books

It sounds like a really difficult issue, Janeshuff. However well done on you for listening to your reader feedback.

I think as others have suggested, a close psychic distance is your answer. The character’s subjective thoughts, feelings, and reactions can never be gratuitous. These will also advance your plot, by contributing to your character’s…[Read more]

Thanks guys. That’s really helpful.

I’m leaning more towards going with a fictional place, although based on a real location to help me be consistent with geographical details. For me, I think it’s becoming clear that there is a particular kind of place I envisage as the setting for this particular story.

Trying to shoehorn my story into a…[Read more]

Hi @alanr,

Great! That makes sense. I think all of the points you make about how the manananggal operates within Galina could be turned into a great hook in your blurb, while also satisfactorily answering the agent’s burning question of ‘how does this possession thing work?’

A final couple of super-picky points.

I would be wary of ‘selling’…[Read more]

Thanks guys, and sorry for my slow reply (I am currently on a canal boat!)

These are all extremely helpful ideas, great brainstorming. I am going to take some time to digest it all and see what speaks to me.

I do like the idea of a fairly “quaint” or “middle class pretty” town which contrasts with the trauma of abduction. Also the theme (which…[Read more]

Oh excellent! You are on a ROLL. Well done!

Hi @alanr

I think this definitely sounds clearer and more focused, well done. You sound like you understand your own book, because you have described it clearly in para 1.

Couple of thoughts for the blurb bit (the bit we want to “zing”) – given that the book centres around the manananggal, I am curious to know how Galina becomes possessed……[Read more]

You’re welcome. Good luck!

To explain my changes:

Para 1: what kind of book
You sound a bit waffly on genre. I’ve tried to make it more specific, avoid the term ‘borderline literary’, and simply give your nice elevator pitch upfront. I think your setting is a real USP so I’ve got that in upfront too.

I fear an agent will freak at your word count! Books above 100k words…[Read more]

Hi @alanr,

Ooo, thanks for sharing! I like the sound of these supernatural elements, and the interplay between your three main characters. I was just thinking today about then book “Ice” by Anna Kavan. I think yours has similarities to this too.

Okay, I’ve dived straight in and edited, as I see fit. Feel free to disagree with any or all of my…[Read more]

Nice one! What is your book about?? Don’t think you’ve told me yet.

Not sure it was mine you read. No tube crash in mine (just a tube crush). only started it in 2015 too. I wonder whose story it was!

Thanks for flagging this, @sandradavies

Incidentally, despite the call to arms for subs from female writers, @pinkbelt75 I wonder if you’ve considered these guys for your crime novel(s)?

Hi @alanr,

Nice typo spot! Man, there’s always one (or 12).

Yes, this is the novel I’ve now rewritten in dual POV. The original version I was peddling here was too much of a coming-of-age story and (in Sarah’s words) “not twisty enough”. Cue complete rewrite!

Though, as I’ve mentioned before, the suggested changes simply helped me get it…[Read more]

Sure! You are welcome to email the MS over to me (do you have my email?)

Let me know if you have any specific questions and / or any specific bits you are concerned about.

Oh yeah! That looks great. I know writer and Clinical Psychologist Stephanie Hutton has also now started running some similar courses herself. Great stuff!

I am so sorry to hear that, Bella. That must have been extremely disturbing and frightening.

As others have said, I think it is down to the gym to now review their safety policies and how they handled the situation. It sounds like they had done their best in previously banning him, and the fact that he burst in meant no one knew how to handle…[Read more]

Thanks for the clarity @debi and @johnalty