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Squidge replied to the topic Camp NaNoWriMo in the forum The Writers' Lifeboat 7 years, 4 months ago
Just to prove how stupid I am – did not realise that the camp didn’t let you post anything until the official start of the writing period. But at least I know where to find the thing to log word count – even if it’s not appearing yet.
Can you tell I’ve not done this before? *face plant*
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Sandra replied to the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
Steve is out – on his BSA B33 – today, I’ll ask him when he returns.
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Kate replied to the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
That would be a nice touch, Sandra. He’s 18 and it’s his pride and joy.
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Sandra replied to the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
Kate, it also crossed my mind, on first reading, that Alex would’ve referred to his bike by make: ‘his Ducati 500 Hornet’ (or something – I made that up). If you want some better info than I have about modern bikes I can find out, but need to know how old he is – there might be rules about what cc a bike for what age.
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Kate replied to the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
I do that too, Sandra.
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Sandra posted an update 7 years, 4 months ago
Intriguing and likely valuable exercise on Andrew Wille’s blog which I’m determined to have a go at sometime this month: http://wille.org/blog/2019/03/29/heart-words-vs-head-words-guest-writing-experiment-no-73-from-zoe-gilbert/
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Thanks Sandra, that’s really interesting. Latin root strikes me as the language when someone’s trying too hard, and it has the opposite effect.
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Oh that’s interesting, Sandra. I went to Andrew’s ‘Crafting Your Prose’ masterclass yesterday, and that was one of the topics we covered.
I can thoroughly recommend: https://www.wordsaway.info
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Sandra replied to the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
Then ‘mate’ worked, don’t fret – the trouble with reading to critique is that one tries too hard and focuses on unnecessaries.
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Kate replied to the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
Thanks Sandra. The ‘mate’ was an attempt to show gender. Always tricky in first person. I’ve never been on a motorbike so your observations are most useful, as are your suggested tweaks. Much appreciated.
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Sandra replied to the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
I like this a LOT Kate and defnitely want to read on. One of the intriguing things for me (don’t know if it’s intentional, presume so) is that, despite the ‘mate’ I don’t 100% know what sex the narrator is at this point – either woukd be of interest.
I entirely agree with Bella’s tweaks, the following are my own reactions and are to be ignored…[Read more]
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Kate replied to the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
Thanks Bella. I’m relieved it works for you and thanks for all the tweaks. Definitely should be ‘they would come for me.’ Great catch.
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Squidge replied to the topic Camp NaNoWriMo in the forum The Writers' Lifeboat 7 years, 4 months ago
Having never done Nano before, someone’s going to have to tell me how I log my word count, cos I can’t find where on the menu bar I do that. I have found stats… just not how to change them.
Sometimes I really hate technology.
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Bella replied to the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
This is great. A good build up of tension and it certainly kept my attention as I wondered what Alex is so afraid of, and why.
The prickle started between my shoulder blades and trickled down my limbs like iced water the moment I stepped outside the front door – I thought “the moment I stepped…” was continuing the simile so this pulled me out…[Read more]
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Kate started the topic New first chapter in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
I’ve rewritten the first chapter of my WIP so many time I feel completely blind to it. Have I created a hook or is it just plain confusing?
Would appreciate any thoughts. It is young adult genre, so you’ll need to pretend you’re sixteen! I’m intending to apply to Write Mentor with it, so any nit picking also appreciated.
Were they watching me…[Read more]
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Squidge replied to the topic Camp NaNoWriMo in the forum The Writers' Lifeboat 7 years, 4 months ago
OK, looks like I’m going to be ‘Silver Squidge’ as just Squidge was already taken…
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Squidge replied to the topic Camp NaNoWriMo in the forum The Writers' Lifeboat 7 years, 4 months ago
Might join you – I can use it to be Camp NaNoEdMo again – that worked well for me once before.
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Squidge replied to the topic Regular Den competition – where next? in the forum Monthly Competition 7 years, 4 months ago
For me, it’s about getting the time to think about short pieces, full stop. I’ve finally got going again on the novel, so my writing energy’s good, but I can’t commit to something every month on top.
If you wanted to split comp and non-comp, they could run on alternate months – that way, you can choose whether to be competitive or not. And I’ll…[Read more]
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Daedalus replied to the topic Regular Den competition – where next? in the forum Monthly Competition 7 years, 4 months ago
Good thought, thanks Libby. I do like the idea of regular writing prompts, but at the moment we seem to be struggling to assemble enough entries for the competition, so whether we could maintain both I don’t know. What’s the general feeling towards non-competitive prompts as well?
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Bella replied to the topic Opening of new WIP- 1289 words in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
Thank you everyone. You are a fab lot. This is a first draft, unedited, so thanks in particular to @Kate for the nit-picky points which are most useful, though I had not requested them. And yes – September is a while away but I will probably jump straight there as far as Bethany is concerned. Anything in between is likely to be flashback to the…[Read more]
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Athelstone replied to the topic Opening of new WIP- 1289 words in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
Once I’d read through a couple of times, my overall impression was curiosity, which is generally a good thing, and I felt comfortable with the way the story is moving. When I read through the first time though, I was a bit confused as to what was going on. I don’t mean the bare facts, I mean things like whether Bethany wanted the phone call,…[Read more]
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Athelstone replied to the topic Opening of new WIP- 1289 words in the forum Critiques 7 years, 4 months ago
Once I’d read through a couple of times, my overall impression was curiosity, which is generally a good thing, and I felt comfortable with the way the story is moving. When I read through the first time though, I was a bit confused as to what was going on. I don’t mean the bare facts, I mean things like whether Bethany wanted the phone call,…[Read more]
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