Raine

Oh – and contractions? Bunkum! If you have a distinctly voiced character, they will ‘think’ and describe in contractions just as much as they use them in dialogue. I’d have no luck with this editor cos I often write voice with contractions…makes it more real to me as the writer, and immerses the reader in the story, in my experience.

Is it worth having a look at how you’ve used ‘I’, Doug? If you’re using it frequently, then yes, definitely worth looking up psychic distance. There’s a big difference between ‘I sit at the table near the window. Outside, I see a man fighting to keep his brolly up in the wind and rain’, and ‘I sit at the table near the window and watch the man…[Read more]

Having written an entire novel in colloquial first person a la Catcher in the Rye, having made a conscious effort to break through my inhibitions about departing from Oxford (or Queen’s, or formal – call it what you will) English to do so, and having found the process liberating and rather fun, I’ll give a heartfelt ‘Hear, hear!’ to that. Okay,…[Read more]

Well bugger me. Apparently, if you just copy and paste a URL into here, without bothering with that ‘link’ button, it links automatically. You live and learn.

It occurs to me that one reason for over-use of ‘I’, or any other pronoun come to that, is filtering. This is another cause of the ‘frustrating distance’ Libby mentions, and Emma Darwin (Who else?) explains it far better than I could.

My immediate and visceral reaction to both criticisms was ‘Bollocks!’ If writing in first person, what other pronoun is there for you to use? How are you going to avoid the pronoun? If writing in third person, does the same criticism apply to ‘he, ‘she’ or ‘they?’ I suspect the real problem is not with the pronoun itself but with the style. As for…[Read more]

Having heard of someone else’s concern about the danger of overusing ‘I’ I am more sensitive, and have seen writing where it becomes a pain, but it’s hard to cut beyond a certain point. As for contractions – sometimes NOT to use them adds an unnatural stiltedness; like Jane says, their use needs tailoring to what’s being written.

RETRIBUTION 373 words (not including explanation)

‘Sire, if I may plead caution…’ James’s face was hidden from me as he stared out of the window across the city, and I began to wonder if, indeed, he had heard my quietly spoken words. But then he turned, and I saw in his eyes the haunted look I knew so well and had come to dread.
‘You may plead…[Read more]

Interesting. I would have said it is perfectly acceptable to use contractions such as I’m, He’d, don’t etc in narrative writing. In fact I think it’s fine to use anything you want provided it doesn’t obscure the meaning. It’s all down to what the voice and style require.

Congratulations! Fab news!

“Then gently scan your brother man” (Robbie Burns)

‘Hipbones,’ she said. ‘They’ll disappear. Never to be seen again.’
That was early on. After forcing her to admit it. Persuading her it’d change nothing between us. When I’d arranged my physio appointments to coincide with her off-duty; to give us some pressure-free hours at home. When the…[Read more]

Well done Ath – and thank you Libby – JUST the sort of challenge I best respond to (not sure what part the ebony pendant will play yet, but I’m glad of its inclusion). Much enjoyed your dialogue-only piece too Kate, so much action incorporated.