Squidge

Thought provoking and intriguing as usual Elle. I very much enjoyed, but I’m with Philippa that, for me, there were perhaps too many vignettes. I thought at one point that you were moving us forward through time up until the telephone conversation, and then reversing us after that, because some of the names repeated, but then I realised it was…[Read more]

That’s a good idea, Debi. Any suggestions? #writingden ? #denofwriterforum ?

Should we have a hashtag so we can all find and share tweets and guide people here?

This is great, Gipps. I love Jane Friedman’s blogs – I’ve found so many helpful resorces on her site over the last couple of years. Rhanks for posting 🙂

I hesitated about posting a general update about the Den too. But I think you’re all right – I’m sure I’m in contact with some Cloudies on twitter, FB and email so I’ll set up a smoke signal and see who responds. Maybe everyone else could do the same?
You could definitely hold the challenge here, Ath, assuming you’re happy to. I think you’d get a…[Read more]

Looks suspiciously like a move of our rooms here might be necessary… I wish now I’d been quicker to post a general comment about this place on the Cloud wall so’s more people had found us here. But like Kate says, if we can all check our Facebook/emails we might be able to trawl a fair few untethered CLoudies.

I guess, if this is it for the…[Read more]

Hope you are able to get it up and running at a new venue Athelstone. Took me ages to figure out where my room could be! I reckon all of us must have a few e-mail contacts with other Cloudies, that when pulled together would cover the majority of those that signed up for the challenge. Perhaps messages could be passed on. Good luck with getting it…[Read more]

Hi Elle / L.

I like this, I think the use of “you” works, and I like how each section is a little vignette giving further insights into how she is in different relationships. I like how you cover not only the submission in the sexual / intimate side, but across the board – hobbies, food types, etc. It’s heartbreaking how she wants the “right”…[Read more]

Well, looking at my last post, the Cloud seems to have only lasted a few days. I have a full list of all the members who joined the group, and a record of all the choices made before the Cloud fell over. What I didn’t have time to do was to collect contact addresses so that the competition could be resurrected at another venue. Time for a think.

That’s really helpful and interesting. Thanks, Gipps.

Congratulations Pinkbelt, on submitting! I am keeping everything crossed for you xx

Yep, I agree about the fine line. Especially if you’ve never met the agent and don’t know how they might take it!

If you want more examples of the efficiency and expediency with which agents deal with submissions, the #TenQueries podcasts from the Manuscript Academy show this. It’s with American agents, but much still applies, I’d imagine.

You…[Read more]

HUG. HUG HUG HUG.

Hi Elle, thanks for posting this, I really enjoyed reading it. There were some lovely lines. I liked ‘The ends of his sentences never curved into questions’. I loved the structure and the slow reveal through the different episodes. As Jane said, I’d never have known it wasn’t written by a native English speaker. Part of my ‘day job’ is editing boo…[Read more]

Hiya Elle, Well done for diving in on the critique posting! This is a sad and believable portrayal of depression, quite uncomfortable to read – which it needs to be. I spotted a few wordings that I felt jarred a little, so I’ll give you them…

‘The caller’s name required a sharp inhale before answering.’ I’m not sure about the required, it s…[Read more]

Yeah, the kickstarters seem to get more coverage than the submission call for this and the other one I posted about. THat’s prob deliberate – the funding being the more limiting factor. But they’ve both hit their targets so are def going ahead.