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Ha, Kaz! Have you snuck into my house and been reading over my shoulder? That’s pretty much where I’d got to – thanks in no small part to this thread. I was avoiding the scene and the complicated POV didn’t help. However I think, by making it somehow trigger a flashback to the earlier scene where she is beaten up by her husband and making her feel…[Read more]

Richard, that is truly a shocking piece of writing – awful to read but really well done. Very powerful. It doesn’t feel gratuitous to me, awful as it is.

Jane, I think I know the scene you’re referring to 😉 Reading through this thread and going back to my own comments to you, the issue I had with it was that it felt as if you were avoiding the…[Read more]

Jane, you are welcome to read it. I’m in the throes of revising it after laying it aside for three years, so a fresh perspective will be useful.

Richard, that was good/awful. Works very well as it’s Rosalind’s pov so the abandonment of grammar, punctuation etc makes perfect sense. I think upthread examples of where violence is done well was requested: to my mind, one of the best (and it’s really hideous) egs of a violent scene is the torture scene in Day of the Jackal. But as far as I…[Read more]

And Philippa, I’m just trying to collect my thoughts to DM you…

I’d love to read the whole thing, Richard, if you’re ever looking for someone else to look at it.

Oops. Sorry!

Aargh, spoiler!

By the way, you might like to know that Rosalind doesn’t lose the baby. She’s only a month or two into her pregnancy.

I had to read this a few times, Richard, to get beyond the awfulness of it. You were right to post it with a warning.
It’s a very strong piece of writing and – this is meant as a compliment – I’m glad I had a go at my own scene before reading it, because I would have found it difficult to write in my own voice afterwards! Yes, I see how you’ve…[Read more]

Thank you, really helpful stuff – especially the double tingle spot – it’s amazing how much you can read things and not see them!
This brings the two characters together for the first time, and it is quite still, I agree, because she’s trying to hold a status quo, and he’s putting on a front, so they’re both in a state of tension in a way, which…[Read more]

Okay, Jane, here is my violent passage. I’ve left in a bit on the front to put it in context. Two words in your ear:

1) Just to explain any weirdness, this is a ghost story.
2) In addition to the violence, contains sex and a little naughty language.

Okay, here we go.

Smiling down into his face, she began to pump her hips. Joey came to meet…[Read more]

It was so lovely to catch up with you @giselle 😊😊 Thank you for cheering me on. Hope the edits are going well xx

Anyone read any Galley Beggar Press Books?