Chris A

Sorry, all. The day has not gone to plan. I’ll try to get a look at your wonderful entries later tonight 👍

Wow! Looks interesting. Thanks Daeds.

Under the Yoke

The security guard didn’t notice the elderly woman by the checkout. She noticed him. She noticed as his arm shot out, shielding the aisle so that the distinguished visitor could walk by unimpeded. The distinguished visitor, his blond hair carefully disarranged, smirked as his eyes slid, unseeing, across her face. He had come for t…[Read more]

Fine writing. Compact and perfect!

The trouble is, it’s easy to get used to odd phrasing or vocabulary when I’ve produced it myself.

There’s definitely something in that. It’s a similar issue to writing something which doesn’t make sense on its own because you know all the back story that your audience is missing. You know what a turn of phrase means and it’s something of a sur…[Read more]

Re the bee in your bonnet. My comments about commas were not directed at you. Commas are wonderfully useful and under-used.

No, I don’t worry too much about rules. Most of the rules are inventions of  over-educated elites designed to reinforce the idea that how the aristocracy spoke and wrote was the correct way*. That’s how we end up with such nonsense as split-infinitives and pointless debates about whether there should be a comma prior to and in a list. Seeing as…[Read more]

Confusingly, I have asked for two metaphors (mixed) while giving an example using a proverb 😂

So, let’s try this again:

Take two well-known sayings.
Mix well.
Write the story inspired by the result.

400 words or less.

Crossed with your reply Kate.

Yes! It is creepy. I have been discussing it offline with another member of the circle. We thought that ‘against her hair’ was perhaps one of the worst possible adjectival phrases.

I did think of a comma and I agree that it helps. What still interests me is whether the construction actually breaches any commonly agreed grammatical rules.

I take your point about common speech tags being transitive, although several are actually ambitransitive e.g.

It was necessary to answer. John answered.

I agree that ‘against’ is a poor…[Read more]

Aw, thanks @knickylaurelle! I did wonder if the medical terms and general set-up might be a bit too off-putting, but obviously not! 😂 Unexpectedly, I had a few moments of nostalgia writing this. There are elements of it I still miss.

Thanks to Ath for giving me the idea in the first place, thanks to Sandra for a bit more Luke, and thanks to my…[Read more]

Super story @seagreen. Positively inspired and a worthy winner.

Thanks for the comp @knickylaurelle. I enjoyed it in spite of it bringing back a few awful memories.

I went to his funeral a few weeks back. Still a bit raw for everybody but I’m glad I went. He came from a BIG family with ten brothers and two sisters and it was very interesting to meet some of them. Did have one amusing incident. I spoke with the wife of the eldest brother who told me that she always found the brothers, including her husband, ‘a…[Read more]