John S Alty

Thank you everyone. You are a fab lot. This is a first draft, unedited, so thanks in particular to @Kate for the nit-picky points which are most useful, though I had not requested them. And yes – September is a while away but I will probably jump straight there as far as Bethany is concerned. Anything in between is likely to be flashback to the…[Read more]

This is a good opening, Bella. An interesting character and the dualised relationships with cat, father and mother.

I think it starts at a good point, right into an interaction that lays the groundwork for a complex relationship. Some minor things that struck me were the early ‘tell’ of Bert that others have mentioned, and a sense that the…[Read more]

Once I’d read through a couple of times, my overall impression was curiosity, which is generally a good thing, and I felt comfortable with the way the story is moving. When I read through the first time though, I was a bit confused as to what was going on. I don’t mean the bare facts, I mean things like whether Bethany wanted the phone call,…[Read more]

Once I’d read through a couple of times, my overall impression was curiosity, which is generally a good thing, and I felt comfortable with the way the story is moving. When I read through the first time though, I was a bit confused as to what was going on. I don’t mean the bare facts, I mean things like whether Bethany wanted the phone call,…[Read more]

Some lovely, quality writing, Bella.

I do agree with the others that I didn’t need quite so much information about the Bert back story. That did slow it down.

I liked this bit. ‘The conversation could go either way. She held her breath’ It really had me thinking uh-oh, what is this mother going to be like? Is she mentally unstable and going to…[Read more]

PS I particularly enjoyed the telephone conversation betwenn the two of them.

It didn’t seem slow to me at all @bellam. Lots of great stuff. An unhappy heroine with a tricky relationship with her annoying mother who clearly has secrets in her past. And now she’s going to have to go on some ghastly coach trip with her. I’d read on. Particularly as she’s got an old and much loved cat. Only one comment – maybe the back story…[Read more]

Wonderful news. Congratulations. And very interesting about the previous rejections. Subjective, as you say.

Lovely news Raine.

For the sake of balance/context/perspective, this story has been rejected by three magazines. Just shows how totally subjective this game is!

This is fab, Raine. Not surprised though. About time you won some recognition. Well done.

There’s little I like more than seeing fabulous writers recognised. Great stuff Raine, enjoy it

That’s BRILLIANT, @raine! So glad others are seeing your amazing talent 🙂

CONGRATULATIONS,!!

Oh, Raine, that’s just fantastic. You deserve recognition.

Absolutely brilliant!! 😁😁

Brilliant success Raine – one out of a thousand! – Wow indeed.