Philippa East

Is this the opening to number two? It works really well whether you’ve read the first or not. Straight into the action and letting us know about Tilda and her situation without us feeling we are being told. I am inclined to agree with Mad about not giving away that she will succeed in creating an illuminorb in the opening sentence.

Yep, that was the thinking. The rest of it is quite close 3rd person, so it’s sort of cheating to know that she’s going to succeed this time. But, that presupposes something (on my part) about the rest of the book and the audience, I think.

Oh I see! Sort of a ‘how much longer is she going to keep trying this?’ vibe?

That’s very true, Squidge. TBH, I’d say I’d re-write it about fifty times before I got anywhere and then probably end up with the first version in the end.
I think, given your focus, your approach is accurate. What I was trying to do was remove the certainty of her having succeeded on the 27th go.

Make time for day-dreaming. Fifteen minutes of doing nothing, except thinking about a particular scene, can help you visualise better.
Atmospheric music helps. As does wine. Or gin.
Okay, maybe not gin.

Thanks Kate, Mad.

Actually, I reckon your way would work too, Mad. I suppose it depends what it is you’re trying to emphasise in the opener – for me, it was the fact that Tilda’s been trying to get this bloomin’ illuminorb right for so long, whereas depending on how you worded the next bit, your suggestion might focus attention on Silviu and his…[Read more]

Ta, Jules. I’m working on the theory that this quilt can be reversible, in that the visible spirals on the ‘back’ are just as lovely as the mixed coloured stripes on the ‘front’. A lot still to do though.

It’s great, Squidge! My personal taste would have been to start with:
“By Tilda’s twenty-sixth attempt to produce an illuminorb, Silviu’s patience…”
But I can’t say that would be better (in fact, it’s grammatically very awkward… so probably worse); it’s just how I would have done it. Otherwise, a cracking piece with a ton of world-building and…[Read more]

Nice one, well done Elle 🙂 Just off to have a read

Actually had a piece published today on Reflex Fiction if anybody wants to have a read, here’s the link:

https://www.reflexfiction.com/a-ghost-story-flash-fiction-by-laure-van-rensburg/

Just noticed that people may not realise that by “I” in the post above, I mean the “@denofwriters” twitter account, which I’m currently curating.
I don’t mean my own personal twitter account, which tends to be less polite and helpful.

Good idea, Mad. Can’t think of anything right now, but will rack my brains. Would be great to see others’ suggestions

I really liked this Squidge. Very immediate, straight into the action. Lovely voice. Thumbs up all around.

Lovely blog, Squidge. And your quilting is very impressive. What an amazing colour!