Sandra

Having heard of someone else’s concern about the danger of overusing ‘I’ I am more sensitive, and have seen writing where it becomes a pain, but it’s hard to cut beyond a certain point. As for contractions – sometimes NOT to use them adds an unnatural stiltedness; like Jane says, their use needs tailoring to what’s being written.

“Then gently scan your brother man” (Robbie Burns)

‘Hipbones,’ she said. ‘They’ll disappear. Never to be seen again.’
That was early on. After forcing her to admit it. Persuading her it’d change nothing between us. When I’d arranged my physio appointments to coincide with her off-duty; to give us some pressure-free hours at home. When the…[Read more]

Well done Ath – and thank you Libby – JUST the sort of challenge I best respond to (not sure what part the ebony pendant will play yet, but I’m glad of its inclusion). Much enjoyed your dialogue-only piece too Kate, so much action incorporated.

‘Also known as …’

Early Thursday, DS Mike Kennedy, on her arrival.
‘Infirmary’s been on. Ursula Bothwell died three this morning. Peacefully, they said.’
‘Cause?’
‘Not known. Which means –’
‘A PM. Not peaceful.’ DS Fran Lloyd strove to hide the threat of tears. Not normally a problem; had to be more than fifty times she’d heard the nec…[Read more]

Thank you Ath, both for comments and for setting the comp in the first place. As you probably guessed, I used it as a shameful attempt to find a way into a yet-to-be-written novel and was immensely glad of the opportunity to do so, though knew from the start I’d barely skated your original intent. And well done Libby – I look forward to finding…[Read more]

With good intent

‘Let’s face it, it is one of our unadmitted secret pleasures!’
One eyebrow lifting in pantomimed leer, he turned his head away, allowing the wind to carry exhaled smoke along Portobello’s beach towards the Scottish capital.
Aware of the flaring of her too-carelessly clipped hair, she pictured them as opening sequence of some…[Read more]

I’d not heard of Pete Roche, and much enjoyed these two examples, thank you for them.

It’s that sort of recognition/everyday honesty that draws me to certain songwriters (I’m thinking Aidan Moffatt in his Arab Strap days), and why Vicki Feaver spoke so loudly to me.

@Daedalus, I know exactly what you mean: most of my novels start with a conversation between two characters, me thinking they’ll be the opening chapter, then, as things develop, I find they’ve moved to the middle of the middle.

@Raine – exactly! When I first read A L Kennedy’s tale, I had to re-read to see how it was done. Then di my best to emulate.

@Daedalus: the story is in ‘What becomes’, the theme of which comes from the song, and it the tale of a man and a woman, previously unknown to each other, having sex in a hotel bedroom.
I’ve never tried an all-dialogue story, but have to say what were served up here showed similar skills to Kennedy’s.

Hugely impressed with the variety of proper, fully-fledged and entertaining tales arising from that simple six word start, each then heading in its unique and individual direction; a process which I find fascinating and reassuring, i.e. there is no one and only right way of doing it and all are of equal merit.

Neil
Instant scene setting,…[Read more]

Seven stories already in this month’s competition – and seven days to go, so if you’re dreaming up a dialogue please don’t leave it too long. And if you are in need of inspiration, you’ll get it by reading those already posted.