Seagreen

Taking on board the comments so far, here’s an edited version, with a title change.

The First Time
Two men wearing overcoats followed the nurse down the corridor.
“Florence has quite perked up since you arranged this visit so she should be able to answer your questions. She’ll tire quickly, though, remember she’s over ninety.”
“Thank you, we’l…[Read more]

Ding ding ding – nope, still true! Brilliant news, Janette. Well done. And yes, it sounds very unusual.

Am I putting this in the right place???
Anyhow, presuming I am, here is another with some exciting news to share. This year I decided to try my hand at external comps, but put them behind me as the lack of news seemed to confirm I was a novice at it.
… until this morning, when I received an email from Pennine Ink Writers’ Workshop, confirming I…[Read more]

Thanks Tony, good points, noted.
Thanks, Elle. I guess my spell checker doesn’t speak French! Good points. I think I have a tendency to over-explain or I would have ended it at “He was my first”. Need to trust the reader more. The telly paragraph is a bit of a cop out – I’ll need to rewrite it.

I can’t remember what the original prompt was, but I…[Read more]

You’re welcome, Bren. Lovely to see so many familiar names, indeed

Good luck for when you sub! Xx

Yes, definetly more oblique, great. I wonder if you might change the ‘I hate sharing you’ lime (which makes Ashley sounds possessive) to something like “it’s just… you know how you get.” In other words, have Ashley referring to the problem without quite naming it…