John T

I think you’ve just answered your own question. 😀 Good luck with developing it.

Kate, I think I am may have let my decision to keep the violence short stop the scene from developing in other ways so I’ve been working on that but I can see, nevertheless, that the violence has been threatened for a long time and I’ve ramped up the tension and fear leading up to it and maybe that is why it seems a let down.

I’m with you and Sandra on not going graphic. Ramping up the PD and inferring what’s going on rather than full on graphic is definitely my preferred route. BUT, don’t ignore feedback either. What percentage of your Beta readers had this reaction? Could you ask the ones who didn’t mention this how they felt. It may be you’re being too short and…[Read more]

I’d agree with you Jane, ‘less is more’ works for violent scenes much as it does for sex scenes, though I suppose you’d have to work harder so as to bring something fresh for the readers’ mind to work on.
Those long, graphic scenes can be effective, up to a point but can tun as many off as they do on, so go with your gut feeling.

Thanks, all. And I hope some of you will try your hand at October’s.

Earth and smoke and iron

It were an odd one and no mistake. She were odd. Educated; not from round here. ‘Otherworldly’ some might say.
She lugged it in, wrapped up in brown paper, tied with string. Knots sealed with blobs of scarlet wax.
‘You’ll ‘after tell me what’s in it, lass –‘
‘A coat. An army one. That’s what’s the smell –‘
I sniffed. A…[Read more]

Forgot to check in on this – A totally deserved win, @seagreen! 🙂

@Stevie – definitely sounds worth a shot

@alanr – no idea but thought it might warrant further exploration (and we may even have some US based people here anyway)

Great writing Seagreen. I thought it was a winner as soon as I read it. Super competition Daeds and what a great effort with all the feedback!

I’m in Loughborough – I wouldn’t call it quaint or pretty…like any town, there are bits like that, but not in the town centre. I suppose it depends on where most of the action happens…

Not sure where you’re based, Philippa, but happy to show you round if you want to see it!

Hi @alanr,

Great! That makes sense. I think all of the points you make about how the manananggal operates within Galina could be turned into a great hook in your blurb, while also satisfactorily answering the agent’s burning question of ‘how does this possession thing work?’

A final couple of super-picky points.

I would be wary of ‘selling’…[Read more]

Thanks guys, and sorry for my slow reply (I am currently on a canal boat!)

These are all extremely helpful ideas, great brainstorming. I am going to take some time to digest it all and see what speaks to me.

I do like the idea of a fairly “quaint” or “middle class pretty” town which contrasts with the trauma of abduction. Also the theme (which…[Read more]

Nice prompt… Looking forward to getting my teeth stuck into this one.