Julie Cordiner

This is a very interesting thread. Of no direct interest to me, I’m not looking for an agent, but it’s heartwarming to see Den dwellers giving their knowledge so freely. Very generous. Give yourselves a pat on the back.

Yes, I’d read more. The first section is intriguing and I’d want to find out how this fits into the overall story. Good writing, confident. Might be a bit overwritten in places – could be simplified on edit, perhaps.
Second section brings us back to reality nicely, well written. Without knowing the story it’s difficult to say if these sections…[Read more]

Such a generous thing to do.

Totally forgot to say – LOVE LOVE LOVE the image of the fly and the spider’s web. Him seeing himself as that fly is so sinister and foreshadowy and makes you really want to side with him in whatever dark shenanigans he is up to! 🙂

Just come to this after reading the first chapter (sorry, I mean’t to read a few days ago and got sidetracked). So this is the guy we meet in the woods? Ace! And I’m assuming we’ve seen a fair bit of him between then and now, so would have already encountered his OCD and the hints of military/prison/crime dribbled into the thoughts. I love the…[Read more]

In a word, yes, would totally read on!! 🙂

Elle has suggested leading with Laura’s PoV, and I do think it might work well that way, partly because we get to know her much better in that short piece of text than we get to know unnamed him. Also because her section is full of suggestions and hooks that I think set up the reader better in terms of…[Read more]

Summer 1999

I told myself, at my age, I didn’t need to be nervous. But knew what I could do well was conscientious.
‘Bring portfolio’ the letter said, so I went out and bought a huge one. Filled it, with two years of one-day a week class-work plus evening Life Drawing. Plus the watercolours I was especially pleased with.
Appointed day, I par…[Read more]