Knicks

Well, clarifying the problem is always a good start! Yes, I can see better now what’s making it tricky. I guess the same principles still apply: focus on your onlooker’s reactions to what they are witnessing, rather that (just) the action itself. Maybe think about the onlooker experiencing the violence as a series of sounds, movements, colours,…[Read more]

Argent Strings

In his dreams the nylon twanged faster and faster, jumping like fleas, until –

Until he woke. The hipster fashion for tiny instruments had not run dry. Instead it had uncovered a sinister network of enthusiasts, meeting once a month in railway huts, disused kiosks. The world’s abandoned places. But why? That was his job, to fin…[Read more]

Hi,

I can really see this place, this off-season clifftop eatery, can hear the lonely squawk of gulls and the crush-thump of incoming waves. The atmosphere of near-total stillness in the cafe is well-depicted. And you’ve got some great lines in here, particularly around the descriptions:

“a fall of autumn leaves across forehead, eye lids, nose,…[Read more]

Shame Derby is a bit too far for me for a weekday evening 🙁

I agree that sex scenes like violent scenes that develop the characters or characterisation shouldn’t be shy away from. I think the main issues with those kind of scenes is when they turn into the mechanics of what goes where and who does what. The scenes I have read where it have really works were when the reader is in the head of the character,…[Read more]

Sorry, a ghost of an idea. I might have a couple of questions for you about subsequent trauma causing people to relive earlier trauma.

I can imagine how difficult that must have been to write, Richard, and I would love to read it.

The close POV is definitely a solution. However in my trickiest scene the POV is neither victim nor perpetrator but a sort of onlooker who cannot act. However this discussion has been really useful because I have, at least, realised this is why it is…[Read more]

Two bits of advice ‘freed’ me up wrt location, because I usually start with somewhere I know then make adjustments as necessary. Reading a disclaimer along the lines of “geographical liberties have been taken” I much appreciated.
Also, Eimear McBride said when she wrote of Camden, she did it from a 5 year old memory of the place and never…[Read more]

BTW I think your book DOES sound very original! Setting, the manananggal etc…. My point was that it is best to ‘show’ this through your blurb and chapters, rather state this claim directly.

Hi Alan,

I really enjoyed “Ice” although it is a very strange book. Worth reading to the end though, if you can.

Yes, my understanding is that Anna Kavan struggled with various problems, including depression and addictions.

It’s probably a bit of an old and obscure novel to use as a comp title, but hope it will lead to other relevant books

It sounds like a really difficult issue, Janeshuff. However well done on you for listening to your reader feedback.

I think as others have suggested, a close psychic distance is your answer. The character’s subjective thoughts, feelings, and reactions can never be gratuitous. These will also advance your plot, by contributing to your character’s…[Read more]

Thanks guys. That’s really helpful.

I’m leaning more towards going with a fictional place, although based on a real location to help me be consistent with geographical details. For me, I think it’s becoming clear that there is a particular kind of place I envisage as the setting for this particular story.

Trying to shoehorn my story into a…[Read more]

I had a problem like this in my last effort, and it cost me more sweat than anything else in that story. It was all the harder because it was a husband beating up his wife. I really didn’t want to go there and tried everything to skate round it, but the plot demanded that I meet it head-on. In the end I did almost exactly what Jonathan suggests: I…[Read more]

Some great ideas in there, thanks Jonathan

I imagine details such as the number of times someone is hit – or even the exact manner – would be gratuitous; I don’t think anyone would keep track and I think it could actually lessen the realism as well as being rather unpleasant to read and write imo. But I do wonder if there is a chance to show character, eg sympathy for the victim by showing…[Read more]

“if it doesn’t advance the plot or reveal something about character, don’t prolong it.” – excellent advice! Thanks Jane.

Jonathan, I don’t want to write more detail of exactly where and how many times they hit her and how much it hurts (or doesn’t) mainly because I don’t think it advances the scene and would therefore be gratuitous. I’ve tried, now, to write enough for the reader to understand that it was horrifying, callous and caused life-threatening damage (which…[Read more]