@knickylaurelle
Active 4 months, 2 weeks ago-
Raine replied to the topic Chapter seven – a spider's path in the forum Critiques 7 years, 7 months ago
Just come to this after reading the first chapter (sorry, I mean’t to read a few days ago and got sidetracked). So this is the guy we meet in the woods? Ace! And I’m assuming we’ve seen a fair bit of him between then and now, so would have already encountered his OCD and the hints of military/prison/crime dribbled into the thoughts. I love the…[Read more]
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Raine replied to the topic First chapter – Spider's path in the forum Critiques 7 years, 7 months ago
In a word, yes, would totally read on!! 🙂
Elle has suggested leading with Laura’s PoV, and I do think it might work well that way, partly because we get to know her much better in that short piece of text than we get to know unnamed him. Also because her section is full of suggestions and hooks that I think set up the reader better in terms of…[Read more]
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Raine posted an update 7 years, 7 months ago
I wonder if the monthly comp needs its own forum, separate from the comps, opportunities etc one. Might make it easier to find, especially as months get added… ?
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Elle replied to the topic First chapter – Spider's path in the forum Critiques 7 years, 7 months ago
Hi Sophie,
I enjoy reading this. I think you have two distinctive voices which makes each part stands out from other. Especially Laura, I am curious to get to know more about her.
I like the sense of urgency and confusion in the first section. Some of the word repetition work well but I think there might too much of it and and the repetition…[Read more]
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Sandra posted an update 7 years, 7 months ago
@alanr Alan you CAN edit – the pale grey bar with date above your original post has am even paler REPLY on it, RH end.
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Sophie Jonas-Hill replied to the topic Wip beginning… in the forum Critiques 7 years, 7 months ago
I really want to read more of this and work out what’s going on, but I feel this opener is on the way to being something amazing, but isn’t quite there yet. I loved the writing style when you really pushed it and were bold, when you were writing almost in a voice of god style, and could have read a lot more of it. For me, it then focuses in a bit…[Read more]
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Sophie Jonas-Hill started the topic First chapter – Spider's path in the forum Critiques 7 years, 7 months ago
Hi – I thought people might be interested to have a crack at the first chapter – would you want to read more?
CHAPTER ONE
Moments ago he was on the road, with its solitary pools of street-light and the hush-hush sound of cars. He only turned off the path because he was sure that was the way though, and because the map made it seem easy, but now…[Read more]
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John S Alty and
Sophie Jonas-Hill are now friends 7 years, 7 months ago
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Sandra replied to the topic Den monthly competition September 2018 in the forum Competitions, Open calls and Writing Opportunities 7 years, 7 months ago
Summer 1999
I told myself, at my age, I didn’t need to be nervous. But knew what I could do well was conscientious.
‘Bring portfolio’ the letter said, so I went out and bought a huge one. Filled it, with two years of one-day a week class-work plus evening Life Drawing. Plus the watercolours I was especially pleased with.
Appointed day, I par…[Read more] -
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Athelstone replied to the topic A Room with a View in the forum Blogs 7 years, 7 months ago
It’s not. The chit chat thread is over in the Challenge Group “A Room with a View” but as all votes count – so does yours!
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John S Alty replied to the topic A Room with a View in the forum Blogs 7 years, 7 months ago
Is this the chit-chat thread? If so I vote MEAN. (If not I still vote MEAN)
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Sandra posted an update in the group
A Room with a View 7 years, 7 months agoWe’re writers. aren’t we? HAS to be mean!
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