Philippa East

Congrats @elle!

Mandy, it was so wonderful to see you up there. You spoke beautifully: so honest and with such heart. You were a complete credit to yourself and to Jessica.

I brought a friend with me to the Festival, a fellow writer (Cynthia) from my local critique group. I have been encouraging her hard to pursue her writing dreams. I think for her, hearing…[Read more]

Oop – crossed with Jonathan.

okay, might be waffling on a bit here, but it’s sparked a load of thoughts.

In general I like the opening couple of paragraphs. It paints a strong and immediate picture of character and place.

You set up the omniscient narrator with the phrase highlighted in bold below.
“When the lights went out across Europe, Lina Stephenson did not notice at…[Read more]

Hi Raine,

I love the sound of this story. A literary apocalyptic novel? YES PLEASE!

I definitely like the idea of having scenes from various characters’ lives, i.e. to have sections in different POVs. I think it serves the genre well because it creates an epic, global canvas for your story. Basically – how is the human race as a whole going to…[Read more]

Hi Squidge!

How lovely to read about Tilda, and dive into the world you have created. I really like the idea of Tilda being so aware of the Power inside her – literally feeling it – but now grappling to translate this into the creation of the orb. It’s quite symbolic in a way!

Overall, this second version seems tighter than the first, so well…[Read more]

Thanks, Janette. Poop, sorry I missed you at York – I still haven’t matched up real life faces! I hope all is well with you and your writing and you had a successful Festival. x

ps – I’d love to catch up on your story of getting an agent, if you fancied sharing? I know there are so many different paths and I’d love to hear what yours was like x

Oh my goodness, this is brilliant! Congratulations to you! (And to your agent)

Hi Elle,

I remember you talking about this story, and I really like it. A very clever twist on the oldest of tales.

I think you set things up well: we are expecting her to be the victim, but it shifts dramatically and she becomes the predator, turning the tables with her newly-discovered sexual power. Your writing, descriptions etc. as always,…[Read more]

Hi Elle,
Yes, I can see how that addition can work to show her trying and failing.
xx

This is fab! Well done!!

This is fantastic news! Absolutely brilliant. Well done. And so exciting that you already have an editor at PRH lined up. I think it is great to get an agent too, to negotiate all those tricky contracts! Regarding the other rLondon agent, I think that you can simply inform her that you’ve signed with someone else and you wish to withdraw your…[Read more]

Good luck for when you sub! Xx

Yes, definetly more oblique, great. I wonder if you might change the ‘I hate sharing you’ lime (which makes Ashley sounds possessive) to something like “it’s just… you know how you get.” In other words, have Ashley referring to the problem without quite naming it…