Terrie

Only just got to this. Great stuff. Works by itself or could be part of something longer. I had a couple of comments and then I realised there was an updated version that had addressed them. Great voice, and I love Florence’s, ahem, sangfroid and acerbic wit.

Tiny editing thing – Medical Corps rather than Corp.

I really enjoy this Sophie. I thought it really came alive when we were inside the room and inside his head. Really compelling internal monologue, lots of info and hints at info contained within the that but none of it telegraphed. Just enough to intrigue and pull you in. You do this sort of ‘dark underbelly’ of society so well.

I think the oth…[Read more]

Bonjour

When we lived in La Rochelle, my governess tried to make me say ‘Bonjour,’ to people we met in the street. It was polite she said, I would never be a gentleman if I did not learn to be polite. But I was shy, and after our morning walk she would scold me, and shake me impatiently. Papa was away at the war and Maman was – distant. I knew s…[Read more]

Thanks Philippa – that does all make sense! Sounds like I need to now combine the stakes of the challenge with the overall feel…

The inciting incident isn’t actually that she can/can’t make an orb; it’s the fact that a little later, she decides to practise in secret, drains her Power and needs to refill… and at THAT point, discovers something…[Read more]

OK. Would you mind if an Admin made a small edit to the warning (have a look at your DMs if you want)?

It would be helpful to add a little more detail in the warning, Tony, just so people can be prepared for what they are about to read.
This is not an issue with the story itself; but I think it might serve as a courtesy to others to let them know what they are about to read.

Hooray!!

At the very least, it needs a trigger warning…

This is wonderful news CJ. Important step on the road – I suspect the fact is has taken a long time is a good thing. Beware the quickly sorted contract.