Jon Walters

Hi L,

I think you could trim most of the paragraphs in the first half of the story, really. The Physics thing (tight pants) early on could go, you use this analogy later on anyway. Watching a film at the cinema, that paragraph could be less wordy I think.
And towards the end – “zipped her hoodie and pulled the hood over her head” etc. I know…[Read more]

I think “Spotting an opening…” needs a new para. The lipstick thing is a little over complicated, I think you could shorten it without losing anything.
The “pills like skittles” analogy doesn’t work for me.
“Small-to-medium-time” seems a cop-out, he’s a small-time crook, I think.
“Anticipated to sit..” should be “anticipated sitting”.

I’d take…[Read more]

The Banjo
The phone rings in the lost property office at Euston Station in London.
“Lost Property, Smith speaking, how may we help?”
He takes a sip from his tea, listens.
“Yes, sir, anything left on a train on this line ends up here. Assuming it’s turned in, like. What have you lost?
“So, a banjo is it sir? Well let me have a look, won’t be…[Read more]

Well done, good job as usual, L!

Tangled Web (A, The, What a, Weaving a,)
Untangled Web

Time is sometimes described as a fourth dimension, so:
Fourth Dimension
The Fourth Dimension
Into the, From the, Out of the, Attack of the. (last one was a joke).

Excellent, Richard.

You have to blow your own trumpet, no-one is going to blow it for you.

Thanks, Daeds, a valid point and I appreciate the input.

Well done Seagreen, fully deserved.
Thanks, Daeds. Yes, I was in SA for the election. What do you mean by “on the nose”?